Ten Commandments prt.6 Ex.20:12

Honoring Mom & Dad

Intro: We have been presently in our study of the book of Exodus – doing a series on the 10 Commandments – Title

A)Jesus summed up the Commandments w/ these two

‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’This is the first commandment. 31And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

B)The First 4 commandments – deal w/ Loving God – w/ all your heart soul

mind & Strength

  1. If I Truly love God – I will have no others gods in my life / Nor will I

Try of make an image of the real God

C) If I truly love God I am going to Rev. & Respect His name – I will not take his name in Vain / use it Profanely or make light of it

    1. If I truly Love God – I will show it by taking a Sabbath – setting aside a day to Honor Him / special time w/ Him

D) Declaring that He is in Control – of every aspect of my life !!!!!

    1. That is the focus of the first – table of Commands – Loving God w/ all my heart soul – mind & strength


Now if the Vertical Relationship is in Order – Loving God w/ all my heart –

A)That relationship will affect my relationships on the Horizontal plain

My relationships w/ People ( Focus of 2nd Table of Commands)

B) Loving my neighbor as myself - ( First in Line are those relationships that are closest to us – Family – Mom & Dad)


1st Look at what does it mean to Honor Mother & Father – 2nd – For our Kids 3rd – Us w/ our Parents / 4th –Why we need to do this

A)1st –What does it mean to Honor – Mom & Dad

B) The word honor in Hebrew is the Word – Kabad – those been around recognize – similar to word – Kabod – Glory

  1. The Word Kabod – speaks of the weight or Heaviness of who God is

C) He is weighty – His Glory is so Radical – that it is weighty – heaviness associated w/ it

  1. This word HONOR carries a Similar idea – Giving Weight to the person who is to be honored

D) Holding the person in high esteem elevating them to a place of Importance & Reverence

  1. Speaks of a Profound respect !!!!

Notice also the Promise Connected w/ this Commandment –

12 "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.

A)Understand – this does not necessarily mean long in Quantity of days

But in Quality of days – full days / rich days

  1. Many Saints died Young – while many heathens lived Long days

Scriptures are filled w/ examples of this

B) Best example – 1st Adam vs. the Last Adam –

  1. First Adam lived – 933 yrs of age – He had a Long life

C) The Last Adam – Paul ref. To Jesus – (1st Perfect man & 2nd perfect man)

The Last Adam – lived 33 yrs ( 1st Adam lived 30 times longer / than last)

  1. So would we say by that comparison that the first Adam honored his father – God who created him – 30 times more than – JESUS ?


So this idea of longs days – can refer to quantity but more so I think refers to Quality / richness / Blessing

A)Promise to those who recognize the weight of their Parents position in

their lives

B) Giving Parents the proper Rev. & respect – Esteeming them High

2nd thing to note: What does this mean in Child yrs ?

A)Honor during the child yrs is Primarily manifested thru obedience

N.T. references to this 5th Commandment emphasize this

Col.3:20 20Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.

Eph. 6 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: 3"that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

B) Obey has to do with action, and honor has to do with attitude

  1. This word obey is, "stand under" or to Listen under,"- that is, to listen with attentiveness and to respond positively to what is heard.

C) It means to be under another's authority, and it is used in many places in the Scriptures as a military term.

  1. It is the same word that would apply to a soldier in obeying his orders.

D)To put it very practically and plainly, it says to children, "Do whatever your parents say."


This type of obedience is not in Vogue todayOur Culture Shapers are constantly seeking to lower the age of autonomy for the young so that teenagers & even younger kids can pursue unbridled freedom.

Our Culture portrays obedience as mindless conformity –

A)This is clearly exemplified in so many of the T.V. Sitcoms where parents are portrayed as dim witts & fools / while the Kids are brainy & bright

B) The kids are giving off all this wisdom – logic & good sense

1)There is definitely an agenda behind this – more than create entertaining

T.V. –

C) That is The reason we are suffering from a tremendous epidemic of

delinquency, revolt, and rebellion

  1. because this generation has been taught that they don’t need to obey, that there is nothing important connected with obedience.

But this is a very important matter, to the Lord – Children obeying their Parents ( Listed as one of the 10 Commandments )

A)All through the Word of God you find exhortations to parents to teach

their children to be obedient, & Children to be responsive & obey :Why

B)3 reasons: #1 – It helps them to learn how to obey the Lord & to Trust

the Lord

  1. As parents we are constantly asking our kids to do things & not do things that makes no sense to them ( Don’t touch / don’t eat)

C) We are asking them to trust us – Believe that Father Knows best

  1. We realize that their perception is limited – they don’t know as much as we do – nor have they experienced as much as we have

God the Father does the same thing w/ us – He is constantly asking us to do things & not to do things that – don’t necessarily make sense to us

A)But the problem is our perspective is limited – we don’t know what

He knows & we don’t see what He sees

B) So when we don’t teach our Children to obey us / to Stand under our Judgement & to listen under our instruction / teaching them to do same w/…

2nd Reason – Like w/ the Lord – Most Parents have their Children’s best interest at Heart

A)Most of us wouldn’t be here if we had been allowed to disobey our parents in running into traffic / drinking poison

B) With maybe a few exceptions no one cares for a Child more than his/her


3rd Reason that Children should obey their parents is because Jesus did

A)We are all familiar w/ the Story of How Mary & Joseph left Jesus in Jerusalem when he was a boy & found him w/ the Rabbis

B) What is interesting – about that story is that Jesus – after saying did you not know that I would be in my father’s house – about His Business

  1. After saying that Jesus obeyed Joseph & Mary by leaving w/ them

C) Also Jesus lived to please His Heavenly father –

  1. When we teach our Children to obey we are teaching them to be more like Jesus – which is the goal of every Christian


But in the Eph. 6 passage Paul doesn’t just address the actions – being Obedient – but by stating this 5th commandment – Honor – attitude

A)He says it is not only important to obey, but to obey in such a way as to honor your father and your mother.

B) The attitude of obedience is also exceedingly important.

1)We know, of course, that it is possible to obey w/ a heart seething w/

disobedience and hatred.

C)It is possible to obey with any icy coldness which is perfectly correct in its action, and perfectly wrong in its attitude.

  1. It is possible to give obedience with a deceptive compliance that looks like willingness, but inwardly one is waiting for an opportunity to revolt or to break over the lines.

The story of the little boy whose mother wanted him to sit down but he wouldn't sit down. Finally she took hold of him and sat him down in the chair. He looked up at her with defiance in his eyes, and said, "You may make me sit down outside, but I'm still standing up inside!"

D) That kind of obedience is not obedience at all because it is dishonoring to the father or mother.


So in the Child yrs – the commandment Primarily refers to them obeying their parents – seen both in their attitudes & Actions

A)But what about now that we are adults – what does it mean for us to honor our parents

B) The Dominant Characteristic of an adult Child – Honoring his/ her parents will be seen in the way they Reverence them

C) Reverence speaks of Respect : In the O.T. economy respect for one’s parents was considered so important that it was linked w/ the Sabbath

  1. It was seen as an essential for living

Lev. 19: 3‘Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and keep My Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.

D) Recall story of Prodigal son – asked his dad for his inheritance was most disrespectful thing – like saying – I wish that you were dead

  1. Brings further insight into why dad – ran out to protect him – thru his

arms around him ( Punishment for such disrespect was Stoned to death)


So Even as adults we are to Honor our Parents by respecting them

A)Why should we give honor to our Parents ? __ reasons

B) 1st – If it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t be here – Gave you life

C) You might consider yourself to be a big shot – accomplished a lot on your own – maybe more successful than parents – better educated

  1. But if it wasn’t for them – you wouldn’t be here

D) If it wasn’t in most cases for their sacrifices – you wouldn’t be in the position you are in either ( Our House / Ball games )


Not only did they give you life they saved your life

A)Heaven see all the times our parents saved us from getting hit by a car

  1. Every time they stepped & rescued you from Drowning Choking

B) Couldn’t recall a time in my own life –sure there were many –

  1. Never forget the day my Brother Choked on a lifesaver – forget the Hymlick


3rd Reason: They made your life : Meals cooked – 3 meals a day for 18 yrs – some still going – over 19,000 meals –

A)Enough to qualify you to run a restaurant –


We could go on & on - What does it mean to Honor ones parents as an Adult ? ___ things

A)1st Give respect - Respect means – to Speak kindly – affectionately to


B) Hold them in High Esteem for their Sacrifices & Love – Thank them often ( Tell them love them often )

  1. Spend time - ( Big one for me- struggle – 3 kids soccer / B. Ball – Gymnastics – Wife – our time )

C) But thinking – If we sat down & wrote out on a piece of paper – all the things that we do in life – How much would really be important

1)Most important are our relationships – So often we take them for granted

2nd Provision: Our responsibility to provide for them in their old age

A)Handling affairs – taking care of needs

B)Greatest tragedies our day – 1,000’s of old people in retirement homes never –get a call or a visit from their Children

  1. Guys who do that Ministry see it all the time !!!

C) Sometimes we excuse it behind –religious piety –too busy doing the work of the Lord

  1. Jesus REBUKED THE Pharisees for this mentality –

D)They would excuse their lack of care for their parents – saying time was given to the Lord : Here is what Jesus said

Matt. 15: Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition? 4For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death. 5But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, "Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God"—6then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition. 7Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:

8 ‘These people draw near to Me with their mouth,

And honor Me with their lips,

But their heart is far from Me.

9 And in vain they worship Me,

Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’"

3RDCONSIDERATION : Their needs wants desires

A)Realize – they are probably not going to Change

B) The older a person gets the more etched they get in their ways – we need to be the ones to bend !!!!


4th You bring honor to your Parents by your godly Character

Proverbs 23;24,25 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice,

And he who begets a wise child will delight in him.

25 Let your father and your mother be glad,

And let her who bore you rejoice.

Prov.15:20 A wise son makes a father glad,

But a foolish man despises his mother.


An unknown author, writing about his own father, expressed in poetic form some thoughts with which many of us will identify:

His shoulders are a little bent,

His youthful force a trifle spent,

But he's the finest man I know,

With heart of gold and hair of snow.

He's seldom cross and never mean;

He's always been so good and clean;

I only hope I'll always be

As kind to him as he's to me.

Sometimes he's tired and seems forlorn,

His happy face is lined and worn;

Yet he can smile when things are bad:

That's why I like my gray-haired dad.

He doesn't ask the world for much--

Just comfort, friendliness, and such;

But from the things I've heard him say,

I know it's up to me to pay

For all the deeds he's done for me

Since I sat rocking on his knee;

Oh, not in dollars, dimes, or cents--

That's not a father's recompense;

Nor does he worship wealth and fame--

He'd have me honor Jesus' name.



Lastly : Why is this important ?

A)First it pleases the Lord – Col 3:20 – Our goal is to Please Him

B) 2nd It results in a blessing for us – Richness of days

C) 3rd – It Blesses our Parents