Lust and Revenge

2 Samuel 13-14:24

Hosea 8: 7 it tells us that if we sow to the wind, we will reap the whirlwind.

A) Basically what that means is that our sin will always catch up with us and not only catch up, but it will be multiplied back to us.

B) That is what we see happening to David here in 2 Sam 13-14 –

In Ch.12 David sowed to the flesh – Bathsheba

1) but David’s sowing to the wind started along time before that.

C) It started with David taking on multiple wives which God specifically said that His kings were not to do in Deut 17:17.

1) David was a man w/ UNBRIDLED LUST -

D) Now the whirlwind is catching up to him and it is not a pretty picture.

1) Even though God forgave David of his sin – there would be consequences the Lord revealed that the sword would not depart from his house.

E) There would in turmoil in his own home that would plague him until he died.

Well it starts to unravel here in 2 Sam 13:1-2

After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.

Tina Turner had a hit song yrs ago – What’s love got to do with it?

A) Good question – We are told in v.1 that Ammon was in love with his sister Tamar -

B) But actually Ammon was not love sick – but Lust Sick over Tamar

1) Limits of the English Language – Not in love w/ her – but in Lust

C) How do we know that? Very simple, the Bible defines love and by that, defines lust.

1) In 1 Cor 13 it tells us that love is patient and kind and love does not seek it’s own.

D) In other words, love is patient and gentle and other’s centered, lust on the other hand, is hasty, violent, and self centered.

1) You tell me which one we see here.

So can you see what is happening here? Amnon is being controlled by his lust.

A) He had a strong sexual desire for his sister Tamar, his half sister Tamar. He was attracted to her physically.

B) He had a strong desire for sexual relationship with her. Not love at all. He had no interest or concern with her feelings.

C) You girls be careful for that boy that says, "You’ve got to marry me. I can’t live without you!"

1) He’s not really interested in you, he’s interested in himself. He is expressing it. "I can’t live without you. I love you! You must marry me!"

D) He’s thinking of himself. True love is other-centered, rather than self-centered. God’s love is a true love.

1) It is a giving love, and true love is giving. "God so loved, he gave...".

Ammon’s heart is filled with Lust and His lust for this woman is so strong that it is blinding him to the fact that this relationship could never work because it is sin.

A) What does Amnon need at this point? He needs someone who would come along and tell him that what he was thinking about was sin,

B) That it was not in line with the Word of God, and that he needs to get it out of his mind. { Lev.20 Incest Forbidden

1) Instead he finds someone who is going to encourage him in his sin

3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David's brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.4 And he said to him, "Why are you, the king's son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?"

Amnon said to him, "I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."

5 So Jonadab said to him, "Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, 'Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.'"6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, "Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand."


James 1:14-15 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lusts and enticed. Then when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin. And sin, when it is fully formed, brings forth death.

A) This whole downward spiral begins with lust, it begins with something appealing to, or to use James's terminology, when something entices those parts of us that can be lured into something sinful.

B) So Jonadab, Amonon’s cousin is showing him how to make his lust a reality.

1) Can I tell you that there will always be people in your life that will do this?

B) There will always be people who are willing to fan the flames of lust.

1) NO open door for compromise at all. – Movie – drink –

C) So Jonadab lays out this plan and sure enough, David comes over to visit his sick son. Request is made for Tamar – David obliges it.

2 Sam 13:7-14

7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, "Now go to your brother Amnon's house, and prepare food for him."8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes.9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said,"Have everyone go out from me." And they all went out from him.10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom.11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, "Come, lie with me, my sister."

12 But she answered him, "No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing!13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you."

Listen that is the message that should have come from Jonadab a few days earlier?

A) Coming from him it might have been received, but at this point, with his lust burning inside of him, it bounced right off.

B) This tells us something about lust doesn’t it.

1) Lust is not rational, lust can not be reasoned with, it will get you to the point where it must be satisfied, regardless of the cost.

C) So Amnon, takes her by force and lies with her

14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.

D) I want you to take special note of verse 15, and ladies, I especially want you to see this.

1) This tells us something about lust that no one else has the guts to tell you. Listen to what happens here.

15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, "Arise, be gone!"

A) Here is the trap that so many fall into, Gals, will give out sex, to get love. Guys, will give out love to get sex.

B) Gals you need to understand this, if this a lustful relationship out side of marriage, then you can deliver what the guy wants, but he will never deliver what you want, in fact it will be just the opposite.

C) They will end up hating you with a hatred that is greater then the lust they had in the beginning and they will push you out of their lives.

1) Here’s why, because guys can’t stand themselves after they have fallen to lust, and they will transfer that hatred to you.

Girls, please listen here, if a guy tells you that he loves you, but the goal of that love is to drag you into sin, it’s not love, it’s lust.

A) And lust always has a bad end. If a man really loves you, he will keep you from sin.

B) That is the way that you can always tell the difference. True love will keep you from sin. Lust always goes towards sin.

C) That is exactly what we see here. Not only does Amnon hate Tamar, he has his servants come and remove her from his house and they bolt the door behind her.

D) Amnon has used her, abused her, and thrown her away. That is the end of lust, that is what lust does.

1) It’s satisfies itself at the expense the others and everyone losses.

RD V. 16-22


So Ammon Banishes Tamar who runs to her Brother Absalom who hides her – from her disgrace for the next two yrs.

A) But during that next two yrs – Abasolom’s bitterness is going to grow as he plots a plan of revenge.

B) Before we move on I want you to notice v.21 again – it says that David was Angry – but that he didn’t do anything.

1) Why didn’t David do something about this, this was his daughter, this was his son?

C) I’ll tell you why, His sin prevented him from doing anything about it. 1) After his sin with Bath-Sheba, David had lost his voice, he had lost his ability to parent his children.

D) Remember, his sons had watched this whole thing come down, his daughters had to take Bath-Sheba in.

1) They knew all about this sin and it disqualified David from Speaking into their lives and from bringing the discipline that was necessary.

E) This is one of the sad consequences of sin.

So two years go by and nothing has happened, Tamar is still an outcast, living in her brother’s house.

A) Amnon is still being prepped for the throne, David is mad, but silent.

B) So Absalom comes up with a plan, it is hatched in verses 22-29.

Let me SUMMARIZE what happens.

It was the time when the Sheep were sheared which would always end with a great feast.

A)Absalom invites David to his feast which David declines because it would have been too much for Absalom to provide for the entourage that David would have brought.

B) So Absalom asks David to send Amnon in his place.

C) He tells David that all of the other brothers will be there as well, but it would be good to have Amnon represent the royal family.

1) David agrees.

D) Absalom gets Ammon drunk and then at the perfect time, has his guards jump him and kill him.

1) The rest of David’s sons flee for their lives – but when the word gets back to David – He is told that all of his sons have been killed by Absalom

E) That is corrected however and word comes to David that it was only Ammon – the victim of Absalom’s revenge.


37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day.38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years.39 And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.

So what was the result of this one lustful act?

A) A beautiful woman is disgraced and left desolate, a man who was next in line to be king becomes a fool and is eventually killed.

B) Another son ends up in exile in a foreign land, and a family is blown apart. Was it worth it?

1) Did Amnon get his money’s worth from the fulfillment of this lust?

C) No way, it wasn’t even close, and folks can I tell you, it never is. Never.

D) What we think that we want so bad, becomes the worst thing that could ever happen to us.


CH.14 : Summarize v.1-11

Joab sees David’s distress of heart over Abasalom – so Joab finds an actress – woman from Tekoa - Woman widow: story two sons one killed the other – banished – threatened

A) David is moved by her story and says – No one will harm him

Pick it up in

12 Therefore the woman said, "Please, let your maidservant speak another word to my lord the king." And he said, "Say on."

13 So the woman said: "Why then have you schemed such a thing against the people of God? For the king speaks this thing as one who is guilty, in that the king does not bring his banished one home again.14 For we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him.

A) David, when you die, there is no opportunity to then re-gather, or to redo the things that have been done.

B) Death ends the opportunities of showing kindness, of showing forgiveness, of showing love.

C) So many times within a family, there is a separation. Arguments arise, you say things you don’t mean.

1) You leave and say, "We’re never coming back!" You know, you pack the kids into the car, and off you go.

D) Many times there is this stubborn kind of a streak that takes hold, and though you long to hear from the kids, though you want to see them again, "I’m not going to call until they call first and apologize!"

E) You get two stubborn people, and you get a stand-off. Though there is the desire for reconciliation,

1) this stubborn pride will not allow you to make the first move, to take the initiative to restore the relationship. Say I am Sorry!

Listen if you hold onto that, if you refuse to apologize, if you don’t tell the person that you really love them, you didn’t mean it.

A) One day death is going to come, and it’s gonna rob you of any further opportunity of making amends. Making things right.

B) That can be a haunting thought. "Why didn’t I tell them, why didn’t I say I was sorry? I do love them!", but now you can’t tell them that.

1) Death ends those opportunities. It’s like water that’s spilled on the ground. You can’t gather it up again!

C) You cannot gather up these opportunities again, they’re gone, like water spilt on the ground, it’s over. No way you can gather it again.

D) So that is what this woman says to David – and then she adds – I love it

v.14b Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him.

I love that when I think, the means that God has devised whereby we who were banished through sin, are not expelled from Him.

A) Because of sin, Adam was banished from the garden.

B) But God devised the means whereby Adam would not be expelled from Him, but could spend eternity with God.

1) His Son would die on a Cross …………………………..

C) So this woman is appealing to David to make things right with his son Abasalom

D) At this point David recognizes that this was a trick – ask – did Joab put you up to this? –

1) But David gets the point – and has Joab send for Abasalom to come home




21 And the king said to Joab, "All right, I have granted this thing. Go therefore, bring back the young man Absalom."

22 Then Joab fell to the ground on his face and bowed himself, and thanked the king. And Joab said, "Today your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord, O king, in that the king has fulfilled the request of his servant."23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.24 And the king said, "Let him return to his own house, but do not let him see my face." So Absalom returned to his own house, but did not see the king's face.


David concedes – Send for Absalom – but here is the weird thing – David doesn’t talk to Absalom for 3yrs – total of 5yrs

A) He mourned everyday for his son – He loved his son – but he didn’t completely restore his son.

B) David was still holding on to this thing. He wouldn’t let Absalom, wouldn’t make up. I feel that this was a mistake on David’s part.

1) I think that had he received Absalom, true grace and forgiveness

Absalom would probably not have rebelled against David.

C) But with David taking this continued attitude towards him, I think that Absalom’s bitterness grew and, actually gave birth to the rebellion that follows in Ch.15

Pick it up next week in v.25