Song
of Solomon 2:8-17
Song
of Solomon: Literal Historical
A)Looking back over their Love affair as it is being
told to the Daughters of Jerusalem.
B)Lesson
in Love, intimacy, relationships and marriage.
This
book IS INSPIRED!
C)Some
Bible teachers who take a Literal approach to this book like to divide it
Chronologically Dating, Courtship, Wedding, first fight, 2nd
Honeymoon etc
D) I dont think you can
define that dogmatic of a time line.
The
approach I am taking is that they are reminiscing certain events and stages
in their relationship.
A)Almost like we do in
Premarital counseling I remember a time when something happened
B)For example we saw in our
study last time a very important stage in their relationship early on She
was feeling insecure about her appearance
1)To the point where she was
saying: Dont
look at me dark tanned by the sun Working girl muscles felt unkempt
C)We
watched how Solomon affirmed her, made her feel special, and valuable more than any other
girl in the Kingdom
D)We
witnessed a transformation right before our eyes because of that
affirmation.
E)She starts to have a whole
different perception of herself because of his affirmation
1)Ch.2:1 I am the Rose of Sharon the Lilly of the Valley
he responds by saying all the other women are like thorns compared to you.
F)She goes from saying Dont
look at me to saying I am love sick I want to be
with you right now { Desiring intimacy in its fullness
1)The lesson in that scene
was on the value of AFFIRMATION in sincere love.
Side
note: A lot of this book is descriptive He describes her Beauty her body 5
times.
A)Understand the point of
that is not to place an emphasis on outward Beauty.
B)Example Ch.4 Wedding PG-13
he describes her teeth perfect {
Pastor said Lesson is marry a girl with perfect teeth not the lesson.
C)Lesson for the men is
finding things to affirm your wife about God
knows women need affirmation.
God
ordained this book and 5 times God has Solomon Praising her outward beauty.
A)Now in Ch. 1:16 She
mentions he is Handsome and it is not until 5:10 that we get a description of
his Physical appearance in any detail.
B)But in the previous
Chapters she speaks a lot about his Character
1)She speaks a lot about how
much his love and affirmation of her makes her feel safe & Secure.
C)Why is that? Because God
who ordained this Story Has a Picture in mind when it comes to marriage.
Picture
is that of Christ and the Church.
A)Husbands love your
wives
. The Church!
Safe / secure / loved
unconditionally
B)Bible tells us: We love
Him because He first loved us. Our love is a
response to His Perfect love
1)The more we understand
& experience of His perfect unconditional self sacrificing love
C)The more we respond in
intimacy, devotion, worship, service and commitment.
So it makes all the sense in
the world that Solomon is affirming her Showing how much he values her
A)God knows that women need
that and He is painting a picture. {Eph. 1-3 One big affirmation}
Today Pick it up in V.8
The voice of my
beloved!
Behold, he
comes leaping upon the mountains,
Skipping upon
the hills.
9 My beloved is
like a gazelle or a young stag.
Behold, he
stands behind our wall;
He is looking
through the windows,
Gazing through
the lattice.
Now
here is what is happening in this scene: Solomon wants to be with his love
Still pre-marriage.
A)He has a choice to make
he is the king he is a busy guy lots of responsibilities / he could have sent
servants to summon her.
B)But men I want you to
notice that is not what he does He carves out a day to come and be with her
He is pursuing her
1)He is seen coming out to
her house.{ leaping he is giddy excited about seeing her -
C)Principle here: You have
to pursue a woman !
D)Some of you men pursued
your wife in hopes that she would marry you Got her and stopped
1)Busy tired come home and
caress the remote
E)Listen: She needs and wants to be Pursued!
1) Ask her -
Any
critique that I have for single Christian guys many are way too passive
A)Somewhere this attitude
developed in the Church where it was considered ungodly to show any interest in
a woman.
B) Guy thinks I am going
to just sit in my room pray that to God that Jessica
Biel comes to Christ comes and knocks on my door proposes
1)Then I will know this is
from the Lord Jessica Biel or whoever
never comes knocking on the door.
C)What
often happens is you have single godly Christian women who are being
constantly pursued by the ungodly guys
1)They see something
different in you than unsaved girls See the light of the Lord and it is attractive - interested
D)The godly single girl is
trying to hold out for a Christian guy but because
guys are so passive never show interest
1)She goes out with the
Unsaved guy hoping he gets saved he ends up hurting her, abusing her {
Now she is scarred
E)Part of the Problem is the
Christian men who should be interested are Passive.
Now
understand I am not advocating casual dating at all.
A)going out with a different
person every weekend One Friday another Saturday
B)That is wrong But there
is nothing wrong at all with getting to know someone in a group setting
benefit of small groups Singles / 20s/ Home groups
1)Salt and
light serving.
Bb)Even meeting someone a
few times here at Church and if that means you position yourself THAT IS FINE.
1)If I was a single guy
met a nice girl one Sunday better believe sitting in that section again.
C)Problem with some singles
complain about being single never put themselves in that place to meet anyone.
And
listen single ladies{ If a single guy ask you to go out for coffee he is not
being carnal nor is he proposing it is just COFFEE {not meet his parents
A)He is saying I would like
to get to know you better and that is Ok! { Ok for the girl to ask Ruth/
Shul...
B)Two things I dont get at
all. Some say dont date you court{ Which means you share your intentions right
away with the person or Parent I am interesting
in Marrying you.
C)They
say that is the Biblical model Show me
1)Marriages were arranged
I like that now.
{I wouldnt have liked it for me}
D)Courting: That is way too
much Pressure for a 18-19 yr old
E)Ridiculous I prayed I
think she is the one I dont really know her but I am going to see if she
wants to court
1)
Way Too serious of a way to start a relationship
If
you want to argue talk afterwards I am game
Listen
if some 19 yr old boy came up to me and
said Pastor Rob permission to court your Daughter
A)I know he really doesnt
know her isnt around her Say look you start hanging out in the Youth group
Sundays wed nights / Sunday nights
B)After about a year you
think you know her come back and talk to me
Here
is the other thing that bugs me those who seem to hyper spiritualize things
in this area always the Beauty Queen
A)Or on the girls side
Pastor the worship leader/ College Pastor @CM 20
girls hes the one
B)Never the average looking
girl Guys will come to me sometimes Say I think God showed me This girl
is going to be my wife.
C)Problem
is she doesnt even know I exist I will say what about so and so I can tell
she knows you exist
1)I am just not attracted to
her Dude Have you looked in the
Mirror lately
Attraction
grows develops over time - I am
radically attracted to my wife.
A)But I will tell you this
when we met if it had been in a room of 200 20s somethings, we probably
wouldnt have noticed each other.
B)She didnt look like the
girls I normally dated I wasnt like the guys
1)She was from Oregon Guys
drove pickups with gun racks wore flannel shirts and wrestles bears I was a
surfer dude from cally
C)It didnt take long seeing
her heart for Jesus I was smitten! Started noticing the rest of her.
D)Attraction grows only
way is by spending time with someone getting to know them
So First thing Solomon
Pursued her Now we see her recounting his words
10 My beloved
spoke, and said to me:
"Rise up,
my love, my fair one, and come away.
11 For lo, the
winter is past, the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers
appear on the earth; the time of singing has come,
And the voice of
the turtledove is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree
puts forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good
smell.
Metaphor winter is past
spring is here love is in the air -
Relationship is progressing
Rise
up, my love, my fair one,
And
come away!
14
"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In
the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face,
Let
me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet
And
your face is lovely."
So
He comes after her pursuing her what is he doing calling her to come out
to arise to leave the comfort of mom and dad ABOUT RISK
A)In other words He is
asking her to take a risk and invest her heart in this relationship.
B)Winter is past spring time
is here things are starting to blossom
1)He is saying our love is
starting to blossom he is asking her to take the next step invest in this
relationship
C)Some dating couples move
really fast some too fast 2wks already talking about Kids vacations
house colors Slow down
1)Not wise
But
others move really to slow so cautious to step out take a risk be
vulnerable
A)It is risky business to
give your heart to someone!
B)In any relationship there
is risk You have to be Vulnerable in order to
love and be loved!
1)You are never more like
Jesus than when you put yourself out there and take a risk to love!
Bb)Jesus loved pp/ he gave
himself and invested time in pp knew would eventually forsake him , turn on
him, and betray him.
C)Love
takes that risk is a love that says I am willing to be hurt the
longer you love someone the greater the degree of pain you can experience.
D)What hurts more: Breaking
up someone dated for 2 months or 2yrs engaged.
Marriage:
Who is the person who can do the greatest damage to you as a person? Your
spouse.
A)You have to continue
invest your heart in that relationship.
B)Marriages dont die like a
big bomb that goes off no death occurs gradually{ 1,000
disappointments
C)It happens like building a
wall of bricks one brick at a time- One disappointment at a time.
Cc)So
there is risk when you are giving your heart to a person giving them the power
and the ability to either hurt you or affirm you.
D)It is getting naked with
your heart and exposing yourself but there are great rewards
Not
just in dating but in any relationship I have taken a lot of risks been
burned more times than I care to admit.
A)Been hurt deeply been
betrayed by pp I trusted been misunderstood, misrepresented Pp say horrible
things about my wife & kids
B)Everything in my wants to
recoil run play it safe never take a risk again. Live in a Bubble
1)Cant
do that Why? Two reasons #1 Jesus
forgave me & continues to forgive me So I have to forgive
C) #2
Jesus took a risk on me and continues to take risks on me.
1)I have failed Him/ Broken
promises I have misrepresented him Moses missed promise land
D)I have misrepresented the
Lord at times Mad or frustrated when he wasnt because of my own
frustration and perception
E)Lord forgive me Do I
need to quit No, but try not to do that again
I
have to take risks because Jesus took a risk on me still does
A)Never more like Jesus than
when you are willing to take a risk { Love w/out conditions
B)His Love suffers long and
is kind
C)Cant have real love
without risk IMPOSSIBLE
So
Solomon is calling her to come out Arise spring is here take a risk with me
and invest in this relationship
A)Come out from where it is
safe where it is comfortable.
B)As soon as you do that you
open up the door for your flaws and weaknesses to come out.
C)But it is so important
that those things are seen and talked about before you get married.
Point of this
next verse:
15
Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have
tender grapes.
The
Little foxes were deadly to the vineyard because they like to nibble on the
early blossoms from the vine
A)As a result no fruit will
mature from those blossoms.
B)The
little foxes are the things that have the potential to nip a relationship in
the bud
1)What Solomon is saying
is lets catch these little foxes now before we go further.
C)There comes a point in a
relationship starts to progress you have to talk about struggles/ past
1)You have to talk about
your insecurities
D)Premarital Like/dislike
Parents / Expectations
I
didnt have any surprises about my wife and her past when I married her NOR
her about me we talked thru those things important
A)I knew about her past
relationships / she knew about mine.
B)Little Foxes might include
all the fears and hurts you carry all the preconceived ideas
1)Past struggles Porn
Eating disorders Abuse
Have to talk about those things { Take risk
C)Just because you have a
past doesnt mean you are damaged goods
D)The Church has to be
Community of redemption imperfect pp that have been saved that are in the
process of being set free healed restored
God
sees us as a new creation in Christ what we are positionally and thru the
grace of God power of the HS working in us that is what we are becoming
practically
A)One issue one flaw one
thing at a time
B)If the person you are
dating isnt spiritually mature enough to process that info
1)Or it doesnt fit their ideal
or because of their own past they cant deal with it.
C)You are no where close to
being ready to be married.
I
read a story about a girl who had the rep for being lose in College she was
the Pass around girl
.
A)She had been thru more
than 20 sexual affairs during her college days.
B)After college got saved
God did a radical thing in her life. She met a nice Christian man-
1)Very pure upbringing
Virgin
C)Came the point she had to
tell him about her past She was scarred to death.
D)This is how he responded: He wept openly for the pain and
grief she had suffered.
1)He rejoiced even more in
her conversion seeing the transformation that had taken place in her life
E)He pledged to be her
protector, loving her in a way that gave her a genuine shield against the
world.
You
know what she blossomed even more in that atmosphere of unconditional love.
A)She lived to please that
man and fulfill that man because She was so loved by Him.
B) That Church is what we
are to be for one another
1)People feel safe enough to
be real.
C)Not pretending to be
something they are not.
1)special about D/A {Pp know
life is wrecked
D)Has to be seen in Home
groups / Mens / womens
1)Community of imperfect
flawed pp celebrating redemption. {That real not judged loved
So
Solomon is saying lets take this relationship to the next level. Invest be
real catch the foxes.
A)Catch them now so we can
work thru these things
B)She takes the risk and
notice the result
1)Risk leads to Rest to
intimacy
16 My beloved
is mine, and I am his.
He feeds his
flock among the lilies.
17 Until the
day breaks and the shadows flee away,
Turn, my
beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag upon the mountains of
Bether.
She
is saying how she wants to be pursued she doesnt like it at the end of the day
when they have to go their separate ways back to their own homes
A)Again we see her longing
for intimacy, Again that happens after He has spent time w/ her invested.
B)Been said that when it
comes to sex a guy is like a microwave heats up in a matter of minutes
1)Woman is like a Crock pot
Takes time takes conversation takes romance has to feel safe.
C)The thing that I find so
intriguing about this book is the woman is the one
expressing her sexual desire
1)But it is always after
Solomon has taken the time to be with her invest in that relationship
D)God is trying to tell us
something men{ Importance of building the relationship
1)That makes the sex extra
special.
Another
question I like to ask in Premarital How many times a wk do you think you
will have sex?
A)Guys it is always more{
Know of one guy answered 15 twice a day 3 times on the Sabbath.
B)His bride to be said 2
guess who was right?
C)Song
of Solomon is trying to show us how the most intimate fulfilled
marriages are ones that are built on trust, communication, friendship and
unconditional love and forgiveness.
A
line in the Movie Fireproof Cant give what you dont have. Love of Christ only believers.
Romans 5:5 The love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the
Holy Spirit who was given to us.
A)Application for us as
believers The closer we get to Jesus more we experience of His love
1)And the more yielded we
are to the HS the more of that love we will have to give out.
B)Marriage passage starts
Ephesians 5:18 Be continually being filled.
1)Power to resist the
natural urges toward being selfish instead of selfless!