Song of Solomon 3:6-5:1  Sex, God and Love Part 5

“Divine Romance”

 

How many of you like Weddings?

A)I like weddings – great, I love to officiate –

 

B)Special honor watch a couple – saving themselves – preparation – finally there – all excited - Reception –

 

C)Today we are going to a wedding ?

Wedding between King Solomon and his love the Shulamite. Possibly Abishag

 

But we get to do something that we never get to do in real life NOR would we want to

A)We get to go on the honeymoon NIGHT! 

 

B)Now the reason that we wouldn’t want to do that in real life is not because what happens there is dirty

1)Or wrong

 

C)No the reason is because it is Private intimate time! – Not a place for guest – for observers

 

That is what makes this such an interesting portion of scripture: - God invites us into this private place!

A)This is going to make some of you uncomfortable because it is so private –

 

B)But God who ordained all scripture – wants us to see this – He invites us in { Shouldn’t be uncomfortable

 

Why would God do that?  2 reasons I think

A)One is so there wouldn’t be any confusion – that God created sex to be enjoyed in marriage.

 

B) So When they end up in the penthouse suite at the Jerusalem Hilton we are allowed into the room

1) Look this is beautiful in this place.

 

D)Normal vibrant part of every godly marriage.

 

2nd Reason: God wants us to learn from this some important principals – about Divine Romance

A)Not a step by step procedure but – important aspects of GREAT SEX!

 

B)So today we are going to talk about Biblical sex

1)Boring? – Hold on to your seats and turn up the air conditioning – about to get warm in here.

 

C) 7 Principles that will be a part of true Biblical Sex!

 

#1 Biblical sex is between a husband and a wife!

A)First thing that happens is we watch this couple get married!

                                                           RD v. 6-8 

 

 

 

 

What is the largest wedding you have ever attended? –Largest wedding party

A) 12 –Bridesmaids and 12 groosmen –

 

B)Poor groosman – She had so many bridesmaids the poor groom was recruiting strangers off the street to be in his wedding –

 

C)How long have you known that guy – just met him last week at the bus stop

 

Solomon has 60 groomsmen / Valiant men armed with Swords – Experts in War

A)Think she felt protected? 

 

B)How would you feel walk in 30 guys lined up on each side of the wall each carrying M-16’s - 

 

C)Here is a man who is going to make sure I am protected

 

Next she describes the mode of transportation

9 Of the wood of Lebanon, Solomon the King

Made himself a palanquin: {A coach carried by poles

Especially made for this occasion. He made it!

 

10 He made its pillars of silver,  Its support of gold,

Its seat of purple,  Its interior paved with love

By the daughters of Jerusalem. { they decorated the inside – flowers etc

 

This was going to be the Vehicle to transport Her and Solomon to Jerusalem.

A) Solomon is doing this right – He has thought this thru – not some guy picking up his bride to be in his VW bug to run off to Vegas –

 

B)Solomon is Pursuing her again – Showing her how special she is! 

 

C)Men Actions speak louder than words  - Do it right!

1)Romance your wife!

 

D)Now I didn’t – Lamest Proposal in the World –

 

My apartment for lunch One day: Great Sandwich

I love a good sandwich -

A) Do you want to get married ? Some day! – Looked  Are you proposing – { HORRIBLE!     Ashamed

 

B)Now ask my wife – I have made up for that day – 100 times – not that she has ever held it against me –

1) but I do feel ashamed – didn’t make it special

 

C) I was an idiot at 22 { Bad example

 

Trevor on the Other hand – Good example

A) Lindsay comes home and is greated by a couple dozen red roses – New Dress to wear – a Limo to pick her up and take her to SD restaurant – where Trevor is waiting –

 

B)After Dinner it is a ride in a horse drawn carriage around SD – followed by a proposal at the spot of their first date at the beach in Carlsbad –

1)That is doing it right guys -  Smart young man!

 

C)Solomon does it right – Notice her Response!

 

V.11 Go forth, O daughters of Zion, And see King Solomon with the crown with which his mother crowned him On the day of his wedding, the day of the gladness of his heart.

 

She is saying:

Check out my man – Eat your hearts out ladies – Guys that is how you want your wife to feel!

 

Now what is interesting is – we don’t have any details here about the ceremony – no vows, songs, music – God skips that part –  Why?

A)Ceremonies can vary – in style flavor – length focus { God is saying – that is up to you!

 

B)Here is what I see – pp will spend months and a lot of money planning for a ceremony – that is going to last 30 minutes

 

C)Don’t spend the time planning for the rest of their lives!

 

D)Don’t get me wrong – Ceremony is special and important – legal union

1)But you can do what you want with your ceremony

But when it comes to how you are going to live and love as husband and wife

A)God has something to say about that !

 

B)He is more interested in a couple learning to love each other the right way – for yrs to come

1)He is more interested in the Romance that a couple experiences – on their honeymoon and yrs to come

 

C)So He doesn’t say anything about the ceremony

But He has a lot to say about their lovemaking

 

So He brings us into the Honeymoon suite to learn some principles about Biblical sex –

A)Meant to be descriptive – not directive –

 

B)In other words – not a play by play – pt by pt

Follow this guys – for great sex

 

C)He wants us to learn from the experience { Catch the Flow & the heart in what is happening

 

 

#2 Biblical Sex is tender!

A)Solomon starts to undress his wife with incredible tenderness! 

 

B)He doesn’t rip her close off – like Conan the Barbarian !

 

 

C)He is going to undress her with great tenderness commenting on her beauty

1)Beauty that has as much to do with her Character as it does her physical appearance{ Important

 

He starts with her veil – V. 1

 

Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair!

You have dove's eyes behind your veil.

 

Dove eyes Peace contentment – blessed and satisfied

A)Doves are faithful to one partner all their lives – so by saying that she has dove eyes is also a way of speaking of her purity and commitment

 

B)She has saved herself to be committed to Solomon.

He is appreciative

 

Your hair is like a flock of goats,

Going down from Mount Gilead.

 

C)What does that mean? – again these lines don’t work for us today – Tell your wife

 

 Your hair is like any animal – she probably isn’t going to be stoked – she might throw you out of the room

 

D)But Solomon is drawing on analogies of beauty in his day.

1)I think even relating to moments they had shared together.

 

We learned in Ch.1 Solomon was a Shepherd King- A)and she could come out into the fields to meet him – have lunch – spend time

 

B)Perhaps one day as a whole herd of goats were coming down the hills –

1)so thick that you couldn’t see the grass below their feet – she commented on the beauty of that  -

 

C)Herd  just gracefully flowing together – Beautiful sight

 

D)So He is drawing on that experience here  -  Lesson – learn to draw upon – those experiences –

1) Using various - adjectives to describe beauty

 

Not just saying – I love you but why? Why do you love your wife –

A)Not just saying that you think she is beautiful but – what is beautiful about her. Character & appearance

 

B)Some guys you might need to think this thru a little bit – others come naturally

1)That means a lot to a woman  

 

C)Pt is Solomon is very tenderly handling his wife and complimenting her beauty {undresses her

V.2 Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep which have come up from the washing, { Brushed every one of which bears twins, and none is barren among them.

 

A)Her teeth are white and she has all of them – he is stoked about that! 

 

B)Another way of saying how much he enjoys her smile 1)Favorite features I love about my wife – great smile – lights up my world – Picture in my office – on my computer

 

C)Tough day – Her smile lights up my world!

 

3 Your lips are like a strand of scarlet,

And your mouth is lovely.

                                Her lips lipstick –

 

Your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate. {Lit Cheeks – starting to Blush he thinks it’s cute

 

Starting with her veil he is tenderly working his way down her body -

4 Your neck is like the tower of David,

Built for an armory, on which hang a thousand bucklers,

All shields of mighty men.

 

The tower of David was a military structure!

A)The tower was the part of the city that stood for safety and strength.

 

B)And the men of Israel in David’s army would hang their shields on the exterior of the Tower in times of peace.

D)So he is commenting here on her strength and dignity – she is a woman who is godly and can hold her head high – He finds that very attractive.

 

5 Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies.

 

What does this mean? How do you approach two fawns – very carefully – don’t run up on them

A)Again picture – how he is approaching her very gently- gracefully -  { Need some grace

 

 

Men and women have very different sex drives

When it comes to sex – Men are always ready

A)Any time any where –doesn’t matter! –

 Woman like to be Romanced

 

B)Men are all about the Destination – get there

1)Woman are about the Road – how do we get there

 

C)Men are like a Microwave – 20 seconds heated up

1)Women – Crock pot

 

God made men and women differently in this way for a reason.

A)TV – they portray women with men’s sex drives – all animalistic – not reality

 

B)One commentator said: If men and women had the  sex drive of a man never get anything done

1)Always wanting to have sex

C)If they both had a woman’s sex drive – They would get a lot done – no pp on the earth

 

D)Men a woman likes to be romanced – Starts earlier in the day – call – card – a touch –

1)Involves good conversation

 

E)Quikies – not always like this { Ok – Make time for Romance

 

Solomon seems to understand that for a woman sex usually begins in the mind – A woman’s mind is her most sensitive sexual organ

A)A woman gets ready for intimacy through what she thinks and feels

 

B)But to a great extent,  she thinks and feels as a man leads her to think and feel

 

C)Nothing calms a woman’s fears and excites her passions than to have her man tell her how wonderful she is

 

D)Biblical Sex is Tender – tender words – tender touch!

 

#3 Biblical Sex is Sensuous!

6 Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away,

I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh

And to the hill of frankincense.

 

Telling her how happy he is that they can finally spend the night together  - He intends to make love to her all night long!

 

She is now completely undressed – what does He say

7 You are all fair, my love, And there is no spot in you.

               YOU ARE PERFECT

 

Guys your wife needs to know that you are pleased with her appearance- { Many marriages ruined

A)Guys who criticize their wives appearance are dum Memory better than an Elephant

 

Ab)Guy – bummed – after 5 kids she didn’t look like she did when they were married –

 

B)Audacity to say: I have 5 kids –I still look – Good

 

C)Some ladies bodies never quite recover – Husbands she needs to know you are pleased with her appearance.

 

D)Remember how insecure she was about her appearance in Ch.1 –

1)Watched Solomon over and over – praise her beauty

 

E)Here the first time he sees her naked – says – You are perfect -

 

                Invites her to the Bed! V.8

8 Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse,

With me from Lebanon.

Look from the top of Amana,

From the top of Senir and Hermon,

From the lions' dens,

From the mountains of the leopards.

 

Breath taking views from Senir Amana and Hermon

A)Bed is the place to explore

 

B)But it is safe – opposite of the Lions den

 

C)Marriage bed is the place to explore – experiment – but place of safety – {  Wife never feel forced

 

9 You have ravished my heart, My sister, my spouse;

You have ravished my heart, With one look of your eyes, With one link of your necklace.

A)Stolen his heart – Smitten

 

10 How fair is your love, {Lit your love making

My sister, my spouse!

How much better than wine is your love,

And the scent of your perfumes

Than all spices!

 

B)Being with you is better than any other earthly pleasure! Nothing compares

 

 

 

11 Your lips, O my spouse,

Drip as the honeycomb;

Honey and milk are under your tongue;

And the fragrance of your garments

Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

 

A)He is kissing her here – what kind of Kiss is this? Not a French kiss –

I don’t know why the French get the credit for this

 

France didn’t even become a nation until the 9th century A.D. – this predates France by 1900 yrs

 

B)This is a true blue – Hebrew Kiss –

 

Kissing is a sacred activity!

A)Heard about a guy who took a speech class in college – did a speech on Chastity –

 

How he was saving himself for marriage – in fact he had never kissed a girl – He wanted the first time he kissed a girl to be on his wedding day. –

 

Someone asked him if you have never had sex how do you know that your wife is going to be any good.

 

His response if I have never touched a woman, how will I know that she is bad?

 

Someone else asked Look at all the sex that you have missed –   He said when I get married I get to catch up! – AWESOME

B)Singles avoid – open mouth Kiss – it is meant to be a prelude to intercourse –

1)Gets the body fired up

 

C)Kissing this way – lighting a fire – constantly going to be putting out – not good for you –

1)Easy to slip

 

Solomon is intoxicated by her at this point –

                 Biblical Sex is Sensuous

 

#4 Biblical Sex is Holy!

A)Isn’t it amazing that the Bible talks about Sex in this way!

 

B)The Bible is incredibly graphic about marital love!

 

Bb)The word Holy = set apart – sacred – special

 

C)Our society has made sex common – { That it is portrayed in the movies and media –

1)so and so is hooking up with so and so – no big deal -  casual sex

 

D)Because of that the Church has responded by making sex Taboo and Profane – because of that we tend to look at it as dirty – don’t use the S word

 

God wants us to understand that in marriage Sex is Sacred – Holy – special –

A)Magnify our oneness – Give Glory to God

12 A garden enclosed - Is my sister, my spouse,

A spring shut up, A fountain sealed.

 

Water in the middle east is a rare commodity –

A)So any time your find a spring in the desert you also find plant life –

 

B)Because a spring in the desert was a rare commodity an owner would often build a wall around the garden – so no one would come into it and ruin it 

 

C)The symbolic of her body – He is speaking of her virginity –

1) She is a garden enclosed with a spring running thru it 

 

D)The Bible refers to a man’s sexuality as a fountain –

Woman’s sexuality as a well

 

E)Meaning he has kept his fountain out of her well

1)She has been kept pure and he is praising her for that

 

 

Sad today – { teens considered uncool to be a virgin – Pressure to conform

A)Some of you have not guarded your gardens - - your spring – not a virgin – you were not when you got married –

 

B)That is sin – offensive to God – I have to be brutally honest –

 

C)Two things the word upholds – GOD’S INTENT

1)God understands – we really love each other

 

Premarital sex is sin – and God says – fornicators He will judge

 

2nd thing - Redemption – there is forgiveness

A)YOU can start now from this day forward and be that Garden enclosed!

 

B)Don’t grow weary in well doing – Due season you will reap – Keep your wall up

 

13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates

With pleasant fruits, Fragrant henna with spikenard,

14 Spikenard and saffron, Calamus and cinnamon,

With all trees of frankincense, Myrrh and aloes,

With all the chief spices —

 15 A fountain of gardens,

A well of living waters,

And streams from Lebanon.

 

He is speaking here in a very picturesque way of her private parts – { Garden great fruits and fragrances

A)The well that was once off limits to him is now accessible and he is being refreshed by it

 

B)Idea is after they are married she has more than quenched his thirst and fully Satisfied him

 

Now we here from her V.16

16 Awake, O north wind, And come, O south!

Blow upon my garden, That its spices may flow out.

A)Twice we have heard her say: Don’t awaken love until it’s time –

 

B)Now she says – Awake – Now is the time –

Let my beloved come to his garden

And eat its pleasant fruits.

 

C)She is inviting him to take her and have his way with her

 

#5 Biblical Sex is responsive!

A)In ancient times in England women were told during sex- Lay on your back and think of the Queen

 

B)Make Soldiers for the Queens Army!

 

C)That is not God’s intent at all!

 

 

God knows that a man is energized sexually by what he sees and feels.

A)If nothing is withheld, he withholds nothing

 

B)Solomon’s bride was holding nothing back

 

C)Great sex to a woman is tenderness – Great sex to a man is responsiveness –

1)This couple had deeply met their mutual needs

 

 # 6 Biblical sex is rejuvenating!

V.1 I have come to my garden, my sister, my spouse;

I have gathered my myrrh with my spice;

I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey;

I have drunk my wine with my milk.

 

A)Solomon is exclaiming – How satisfied he is by all of this –

 

B)Laying on his back - - That was amazing !

 

C) He is rejuvenated

 

Divine romance – two pp seeking to please each other and taking time - - rejuvenates a relationship

A)When last time shared an evening of Romance

 

B)PP have kids put this away for yrs – Romance dies

 

C)Woman says I don’t need – that until she experiences it after a long time –

1)Realizes how much she has missed it.

 

Women in adultery – usually starts with a man begins to romance her –

A)Saying things that she hasn’t heard from her husband in a long time.

 

B)Guys if you are depositing – romance – tenderness in words and touch to your wife –

1)Some another man comes along it will not even register

Now there is some controversy over who is talking and to whom in v.1

 

Eat, O friends!

Drink, yes, drink deeply,

O beloved ones!

 

Some think this is Solomon saying to those who have gathered for the wedding reception – to start partying – the marriage has been consummated

 

A)Custom: Gather wait outside – Groom would appear – let the party begin –

 

B)So some believe that is what is happening here – Solomon goes to the door or comes forth and says Friends –beloved ones – friends and family – Party on!

 

Others See this as God – God coming and voicing his approval over what has just happened!

                   I like the 2nd view

 

# 7 Biblical Sex is pleasing to God!

A)He is pleased

 

B)Praise music during sex -  Act of worship

1) Others – need Love songs from the 80’s

 

C)Either way – God sees a Christian husband and wife acting in this way – Pleasing to him

 

Think of it this way!

A)Mom – you make a shirt / dress –

 

B)How does it make you feel to see your Child Proudly wearing it

 

C)Dad you put together that Bike – how feel see them riding it with a big smile on their face

 

That is how God feels – when he sees a husband and wife enjoying Romance the way that he designed it

A)He is blessed – He is pleased

 

B)Again mom – how feel – shirt dress – ruined – ripped or they – did something

1)Dad – Bike – leaving it in the rain – crashing it

 

C)So too God when pp abuse this gift – he is grieved

 

The world likes to portray that the most exotic sex is forbidden sex – not true

A)Most exotic can be when – Husband and wife –

 

B)Anything else is unnatural – not normal

 

C)Premarital sex –not normal – not natural

 

D)Same sex – Unnatural – lowest form – Sign of God giving  society over

 

 

That is why – end this way: Church – we need to protect Marriage – Vote yes – because

A)God’s way – Biblical

 

B)Ruins this picture -