From The Heavenlies To Home & Work

Colossians 3:18-4:1


Intro: We have seen in our Study of the book of Colossians that Paul EXALTS the SUPREMACY OF JC

A) In Ch.1 v15 He is the image of the invisible God / v.17 He is before all things an in Him all things consist / Ch. 2:9,10 In Jesus all the fullness of God dwells and that we are complete in Him


B) His purpose is to refute the heresies of the False teachers who were saying the opposite – Jesus is important but not Supreme

1) Paul deals with those Heresies in Ch. 1-2 – But once he gets to Ch.3 his focus shifts from Doctrine to Practical


C) In light of who Jesus is & who we are in Him – Here is how we are to live – One word – NEWNESS

1) 1st New Focus – Since raised …. Seek those things above / Set mind or affections on the things above – not this earth


 2nd New Ward robe – You died – been raised – take off Grave clothes

Sensuality / Evil attitudes / Evil Speech / Deceptions

A) Put on the Grace clothes – those attributes that reflect Jesus – tender mercies / humility / Kindness / forbearance ……. Above all LOVE


B) 3rd New Attitudes – v.15  Let peace rule / v. 16 Let the word dwell richly – let it influence the way I live my life

1) V.17 Do everything as unto the Lord / AND have a Thankful heart –


C) As we come to v.18 – With that in mind – New focus / New ward robe

New attitudes

1) Let those guide you & motivate you in the 2 Predominant areas of your Life – At HOME & AT WORK


D) Now this is what I love about the Bible & Christianity – it always gets down to the nitty gritty – gets down to what really matters

1) If it didn’t I wouldn’t be interested in Christianity at all.

If Paul said, you are risen with Christ, so seek those things which are above by becoming a Monk or a Monkette, I’m not interested.

A) If Paul said, you’ve been raised & your life is hidden with Christ in God, so go out into the desert and contemplate your navel, I’m out of here.


B) I don’t want to be monk, and the only thing that contemplating my navel would be good for would be the next gross out stunt on Fear Factor.

1) That kind of spirituality does me no good at all.


C) I want a spirituality that is real, I want a spirituality that can effect and change and transform the world I live in.

1) I want a spirituality that will work in the nitty gritty areas of my life.


D) And there is nothing more nitty gritty then a wife relating to her husband and a husband relating to his wife,

1) or a mom and a dad relating to their kids, or a boss relating to his or her employees.


E) That is where our Spirituality has to work is in the real areas of Life!!

 1) And that is why Paul goes here, that is why Paul takes us straight from the heavenlies, into the home. – then into the work Place

2) But he starts with the Home Because - If it can work in the Home, it can work anywhere.- If it can’t work there, then you don’t need it.


Now it was just a few month’s ago when we were studying through the book of Ephesians – Spent 7 weeks talking about Marriage & family

A) For that reason we are just going to touch on this briefly today as Paul comes back to it in his letter to the Ephesians


B) Context here is important – too often we isolate these verses – but it is important to take them in context with the Chapter

1) New Focus – Living for heaven / New Ward robe – Garments of grace

New Attitudes – Peace rule / Word Dwell / Doing all for the Lord


C) The later two are interwoven in the Text -

Note v.18 Paul starts with the wife V.18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

A) The S word – Submission – Derogatory connotation in our society


B) Usually people feel that way because they have no idea what the Bible is talking about when it uses that term,

1) and for sure they don’t understand the importance of this principal in the life of every Christian.


C) Submission is at the heart of everything that we do as Believers. 

1) Difference between having Jesus as Savior or having him as Lord


D) Being surrendered to Christ  is coming to that place where you are willing to say “enough of me being the lord of my life,

1) Jesus I want you to be Lord of my life, I surrender all that I am to you. You be my Lord, you be my God, every aspect of my life belongs to You.


Now the sad reality is this there are many believers  who have never done that. Never surrendered .

A) Now what they have done is to add Jesus to their lives, They want Him for protection, and for spiritual back up,


B) They want Him for the blessings that He can bring, and for sure they want Him for Eternal Life – Assurance of Heaven .

1) But there is no way that they have surrendered their lives to Him.


C) And the sad thing is that the people around them know it, they look at your business, or your home life,

1) or the way that you act around your friends.


D) They look at the way that you spend your money and use your time and they know, Jesus is not the Lord of your life, Instead you are.

1) But He wants to be, so what is Jesus going to do?



Well He is going to keep bringing you that place of surrender,

A) He is going to keep bringing to that place where you see the futility of living life on your own terms, the futility of being the captain of your own ship.


B) And sooner or latter we all get there, the trick is to get there sooner rather then latter.


C) See The beauty of submission is that it’s a surrendered life that God can REALLY bless and work through.

1)  Our relationship with God starts with surrender, and it continues on through daily surrender and submission.


D) See the person who is submitted to the Lord is going to be one who allows the Word to dwell in him richly – He wants to know God’s heart

1) He wants to discover God’s direction


E) And Because He is submitted out of Love – He will desire to do all that He does in word or deed for the Lord –



That is why taking this in context is so important to note: The role of the Husband & wife have to start there –

A) That passion & desire to please God & honor the Lord & walk in the plan that God has ordained for You.


B) God’s design is for the Husband to be the Servant/Leader of the house and for the wife to yield to and support, his leadership.

1) Wives are not called to submit because they are inferior, or not as smart, or not as talented, - many cases it is just the opposite.


C) Wives are called to submit because this is God’s order for the family, this is the way that God designed it to work. Picture of the Church & Christ



Now Before we go any further here, let me define for you what the Bible means when it asks wives to submit to their own husbands.

A) I think that the best way to think about this is that it is a voluntary yielding in love of the wife to the leadership of her husband.


B) It is not servile bondage, it is not becoming a door mat, it is not being barefoot and pregnant,

1) no it is a voluntary yielding, in love, of the wife to the God ordained leadership of her husband.


C) It is the heartfelt desire to come underneath your husband so that he can be all that God has called him to be.

1) Practically what does this mean? It means that you let your husband lead, you encourage him to lead, and you respond to his leadership.


D) Now that is easier said than done – let me tell you why?


E) It’s not easy because your husband is not always going to be right

1) The battles that he wants to fight will not always be the most important battles, & sometimes he will flake out on his leadership responsibilities.


Ladies listen: your husband will never be all that he can be a part

from you, your encouragement, your prayers, your care and comfort,

A) The gifts and talents you bring into his lives, there is nothing like it – it has been ordained that way by God


B) There is nothing more Beautiful in a marriage than a woman who realizes her God ordained place in the family – to help & encourage her husband.

1)  his success becomes your success, his victories become your victories, as he prospers, the family prospers. That is an AWESOME thing.


C) Now Ladies I will also say this:  submission puts you in a very vulnerable position. You Can  get burned from this position,

1) You can be taken advantage of -  I will tell you without hesitation, this is a high risk position. { You need to really trust & submit to the Lord




And this is why Husbands I have to tell you, don’t you dare abuse this position

A) don’t you dare take advantage of a woman who loves you enough and God enough, to put her self in a place of submission in your life.


B) Don’t Lord it over her, Don’t make unreasonable demands on her because you know that she will do it to honor God.

1) And Don’t act like you are superior to her just because God has placed you above her on the authority ladder.


C) In all humility, serve her, and love her, that will bring Glory to God and great blessing into your life.


But this brings up a good question: is this submission unconditional, are wives to submit to their own husbands no matter what?

A) The answer to that is in our text, they are to submit to their husband as is fitting in the Lord.


B) This is what sets the boundaries for the wives submission, you never have to submit to something, or to some plan, or to some activity, that is not fitting in the Lord.


C) If it is something that is sinful, goes directly against the word or

1) Something that is  hurtful, or spiritually destructive, or just not God honoring, you don’t have to submit to that.


D) You have a higher authority in your life and that is Jesus Himself.

1) If your husband wants you to do something that violates your relationship w/ Jesus – you are not required to do that at all.


E) What is fitting in the Lord is for you to embrace your role and to walk in it with a heart that wants to please God.




Move on to the Husbands  V.19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

A) The word bitter could be translated discourage, exasperate. Don’t discourage them, don’t exasperate them.


B) People become bitter whenever expectations are unrealistically high and they go unmet –

1) Unmet expectations turn into disappointments, that turn into Bitterness


C)  Guys let me tell you a secret - your wife can not be God for you.

1) She will not satisfy your deepest longing. Only the Lord will satisfy you.

And only the Lord will satisfy her-


D) SO don’t come to your marriage relationship with all these expectations instead – settle into your God ordained role – and Love her

1) Love = Agape – Unconditional love – love expecting nothing in return


Listen fellas - the cycle of love and submission begins with you. { Picture of Christ & the Church}

A) And here is what we know about our Lord. We love Him, why? Because He first loved us.


B) We love God, we submit to God, we give ourselves totally over to Him,

because we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He loves us.


C) The Husband like Jesus is the initiator – the wife like the Church is the responder !!!


D) This is what makes it safe for your wife to submit to you, She will never want to put herself under someone who is going to crush her.

1) But it is a lot easier when she knows that you love her.


E) That is why this whole process has to start with the Husband- Picture


Now in Ephesians Paul writes that we are to love our wife like Christ loved the Church in that he gave himself for her.

A) And we are to love her like we do our own bodies – We nurture and care for our bodies


B) I think that often time we focus on the first one – Love her like Christ loved the Church = Sacrifice & Service – Lay down my life

1) We can think of that in such mystical terms – high elevated terms


C) The 2nd exhortation really brings it down to earth however – and I think gives the how to – Love her & take care of her like you do your own body


The bottom is that we are to be as tuned in to our wives needs as we are to the needs of our own body

A) And we are to be as quick to meet those needs and we are to meet the needs of our own body.


B) Now guys, you know and I know, that if there is one thing that we are tuned into, it is the needs of our own body.

1) Hungry tired / need a break /


C) We are so tuned into our bodies, we even anticipate their needs can’t we?


In the same way guys, we should be that tuned into the needs of our wives, and then that quick to meet those needs.

A) I asked a guy one time during a counseling appointment, “tell me about yourself, what makes you tick,


B) And he listed off a whole bunch of things that were necessary for him to be a happy guy.


C) Then I said, Okay, now what makes your wife tick, what does she need to be a happy and content woman.” And he gave me one of those blank looks

 1) He didn’t have a clue.


D) And he is not alone: A lot of guys wouldn’t know how to answer that question. You know why we don’t know ? We don’t ask!

1) And if we do ask, we don’t listen. - Guys it’s amazing what you will find out about your wife if you would just ask.- Hear her heart


E) Men, what do you see in your wives, what are their gifts and talents and dreams and desires? Do you know?

1)If you do know, what are doing to help them fulfill those dreams& desires?


When I was a kid I used to like to play treasure hunt in our neighbors pool – Dive for treasures / search the pool for Treasures

A) Guys marriage is kind of like treasure hunt


B) Funniest part of Marriage – Discovering how I can bless my wife / How I can make her happy/  How I can show her I love her

1) What can I do – that is really going to communicate that I was thinking about her today. How surprise


I was Thinking about this the other day: How  God is a Romantic And He definitely is a Pursuer when it comes to love

A)The Bible is full of pictures of the Pursuing nature of God in trying to win our hearts


B)  But I was thinking about God being a Romantic – every sunset – Look what I made for you today


C) Every blessing  - every gift – every time he meets our needs – the comfort that he gives in the midst of trials

1) It is all his way of saying – I love you and you are important to me


D) How has God been pursuing you this week – What blessings has He brought into your life – just to let you Know He loves you!! That is God !!!


E) Guys can I encourage us to follow that example in seeking to show ways that communicate to our wives –  I love you / you are special to me

The end result of this will be a wife that is secure and stoked and confident and growing.

A) And That is the kind of woman that you want to be married to.


B) And men I have to tell you, you can do this, no one can love your wife like you can. 

1) You have been designed uniquely by God to love the woman that He gave you. No one can do it like you can, so go for it, do it.


Now in V.20 moves to the role of Parents & Children  "Children obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.."

A) Now once again, he is going back to verse 17, "Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord.


B) The Child who is living according to v.17 is going to want to obey his parents – because he wants to please the Lord



C) V. 21 And Fathers[Literally translated parents ] do not provoke your Children – Lest they become discouraged


 Parents can provoke their children by being too harsh, too demanding, too controlling, unforgiving, or just plain angry.

A) This harshness can be expressed through words, through actions, or through non-verbal communication.


B) John Newton, the great preacher and hymn-writer, who experienced such a wretched life before turning to Christ, said, “I know that my father loved me—but he did not seem to wish me to see it


C) Listen the Christian parent who is first submitted to the Lord in his own life is going to be seeking the Lord for wisdom on how to nurture his kids

1) Parents, understand  discipline is to be given, but so is encouragement.

2) Obedience is to be nurtured by love and praise. We must never cause our children to “lose heart.”

Well Paul moves from the Family into the work place –

22 Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eye service, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God.23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.25 But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality.

A) Slaves & Masters Employees & Employers


B) Simple: v.17 Not a man pleaser – God Pleaser sincere heart work for the Lord


C) Listen do you work one way when the boss is around and another way when he is not –

1) Well you need to remember that the big boss is always watching – that is who you are to be working for


D) He will reward you accordingly – Isn’t that a neat thought – we are going to be rewarded in heaven for how we worked on earth

1) Might not ever get a raise – But You will be blessed in eternity


E) If you are a flake on earth – lousy worker – There will be no such reward in eternity


Now the same principle applies to the Masters or the Employers

Col 4:1 Masters, give your Bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.

A) Masters You are under authority – treat workers the way God treats you

Grace forgiveness / Loving Discipline


B) Best workers & the Best Bosses