1 Peter 3:1-6 The Adornment of Submission 


This morning we are considering  the subject of  marriage relationships / the roles of husbands & wives –

A)Temptation is to campout here Easy to break into an 8  wk series really look at the subject of marriage ( we did that not to long ago on Sun. night)


B) The reason there is a temptation – is because the subject of Christian marriages & family – near & dear to my heart

  1) After the Lord – Family is to be our #1 Priority & Ministry


C) But there is another reason that this is a  temptation is this:

1)   In the Church as a whole in the U.S. – in the last 10 yrs we’ve had  more books written more tape series done on the subject of marriage


D) Has it HELPED ?

1) more Break ups in the Church –ever before )


E) In fact in recent issue of Christianity today – stated that the divorce rate in the Church was equal to that in the World – 1 out of 2

1)   I would venture to say in a group this size that all of you here know of a Christian couple who has got divorced – one reason or another


F) Something is wrong - - We have a plethora of information but still lots & lots of problems



Now we could spend some time this morning talking about the Negative influences that the Feminist movement has caused in marriage

A)The confusion that it has caused in the minds of both men & women

      But in reality in this church body –those influences are minimal


B) Too be honest the PROBLEMS  that we see in marriages in this body have less to do w/ CONFUSION of roles

1)   And more to do w/ REBELLION IN THE HEARTS

C) The issue is not knowing what to do / but rather doing what we know

1)   It is not more books & counseling that is needed – but rather men & women w/ YIELDED HEARTS


c) Willing to allow the Lord to mold & shape them & bring them into alignment w/ His heart / His will/ His role – for their lives

  1) Men & women – who will depend upon the power & the leading of God’s Spirit to help them be what God Desires   ( Eph. 5:18)


Success in marriage is more than being w/  the right person: it is being the right person.        


D) Marriage problems are – 95% heart problems & it is the heart that Peter deals w/ in this section of scripture on this subject of marriage!! RD 1-7


Now Peter is writing in 64 A.D., ROUGH time to be a Woman

A)The Roman culture was geared for the suppression of women,


B)the Roman philosopher, political leader Seneca (65 A.D) - 'Women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married.'


C) The concept of home and family was nearing in extinction; adultery was rampant & faithfulness was out of vogue.

1)   Prostitution was an essential part of their society  Speaking of that society, one philosopher of the day wrote,


 'We have prostitutes for the sake of pleasure, concubines for the sake of daily cohabitation, and wives to have legitimate children.'


D)Respectable Greek women led secluded lives. They had no part in public  life, and no opportunity to express themselves or appear at public events.


E) This lifestyle of Greek women of that day, 64 A.D., was designed so that they might see, hear and ask as little as possible.

1)   That philosophy was aptly summed up by Socrates 

'Is there anyone to whom you entrust more serious matters than your wives, and is there anyone to whom you talk less?'


F) The hardness of heart of Jewish men toward women was summed up in one prayer that said, 'Thank you God that you did not make me a gentile, a slave, or a woman.'


So ladies Imagine living under those type of conditions


Now Peter was Primarily writing to women   who’s husbands –were not believers ( Although phrase ….word = carnal - rebellious

A)His instruction  is not to run not try to escape – but to submit


B) 'Submit' is a military word, It means 'to rank under,' 'to come into order.'


C) It has the idea of soldiers who are resting, standing around in disarray but then they are suddenly called to order and they immediately line up,

1)   ranking under their commanding officer and surrendering their own rights so that order is restored.


D) In a non military use submission speaks of a voluntary attitude of cooperation, sharing responsibility and carrying a burden

1)   The idea is not that of subservience  but of willingly functioning under

    the husband’s leadership.


Peter is saying that marriage in that day was, in a sense, out of order. We would agree that that is true of marriage in our own day.

A)The correct order, is clearly revealed in Scripture: 'Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman,


When God made Adam and Eve - He made them in complete unity. Looked at them as one! Adam   

A.) And Together they were given dominion over the creation to fill the earth and subdue it.


B) God didn’t say to Adam now you have this Job to take care of this place where I have placed you. and this woman is going to be your slave -

1)  Gen. 1:28 say 28  Then God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it


C) There was an EQUALITY between the man & the woman - but listen it was an  ordered equality   WHAT MEAN?  ROLES


D) God had a big picture in mind - picture that would be so incredible / so 

       powerful - so deep

1)  The role of the husband & wife would be a picture of Christ's …Church



LIKE WISE – refers to what previous saying  this section that begins in Ch.2:13 Peter is talking about  SUBMISSION / GOVT./ work place

A)But an Underlying point that Peter makes very Clear is this: the Key to Submission in any of those areas – starts w/ Being submitted to the LORD


B) Concerning Govt. Peter instructs – that we need to conduct ourselves as model Citizens – no accusations – Key verse 16 As Bondservants of God

1)   Most of you Know that a Bondservant was a willing servant


C) Once a slave – had served his 6 yrs he would be set free – but if he loved his master – he could volunteer – be a Bondservant – Ear

1)   SAYING : He was willing – linking himself to his master forever


C) We are to be willing servants of God -  ( We submit to Govt. because we are first submitted to the Lord – who put those officials in place



Concerning the Work place – again we are called to submit – to rank ourselves under bosses by  Following Christ example

A)Jesus submitted willingly to his oppressors because He was willingly submitted to the Father


B) I do all things to please the father – Glorify the father

1)   In the Garden considering the cross -  ………..Not my will but yours be done


C) Too often our attitude can be the opposite / Not Your will God / but my will be done – ( if you do what I want – great I am happy )

1)   Not the heart of the person who is seeking to follow Christ example


D) So submission starts in those areas w/ being submitted to the Lord


Same is true in MARRIAGE : Successful / fruitful marriages begin w/  Submission to God!

A)Eph. 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.


B) Start backwards – Fear of the Lord – Implies a Reverence & a respect on the part of the husband & the wife

1)   Not wanting to do anything that that would grieve the Lord – but an intense desire to please Him in that relationship


C) A mutual desire to align their hearts – according to the roles that He has designed for the marriage relationship

1)   So before addressing the Husband & wife individually – Paul addresses them – together – Mutual submission –starts w/ being submitted to Him



What submission is not- word is different from obey – ( Child to Parent)

A)The wife is not commanded to obey her husband, as children are to obey their parents or as slaves their masters


B) A husband is not to treat his wife as a servant or as a child, but as an equal for whom God has given him the  care & responsibility for

1)   provision and protection, to be exercised in love.



C) She is not his to order about, - but Paul explains in considerable detail (Eph.5: 25–33), the husband’s primary responsibility as head of the house

1)   is to love, provide, protect, and serve his wife and family—not to lord it over them according to his personal whims and desires


E) Nor is a wife called to submit or support her husband in things that go against the word of God

  1) Col. 2 Wives …… as is fitting in the Lord



So the biblical view of submission is really that of a mutual partnership where the wife understands that God has placed the Husband leader

A)And the Husband understands that the wife is there to be


B)That is the order & operation of this equality !  There can’t be 2 heads !   MONSTER


   C) So God places the Husband as the head / as the leader / not because he is

        smarter or more spiritual / BUT because that is the Lord’s design.

1)  And so Wives are to place themselves under the headship / 

                leadership of the husband allow to lead!



III. Why is it important ?    Example to a husband who doesn’t obey the word –


A)Please note that sisters your husbands actions don’t excuse you of your calling & responsibility in the relationship


B) What these wives needed to do, therefore, was find a way to communicate the truth of the gospel to their husbands

1)   They were to Live it !!!!




C) SO that w/out a word – their husbands may be won !!!

  1)Then their husbands would experience the righteousness, peace and joy which their wives had in their lives.


D)Instead of nagging, criticizing, and preaching to her husband, a wife should simply set a godly example before him

1)   showing him the power and beauty of the gospel through its effect in her own life.



Peter says the possibility of them getting saved occurs  'As they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.'

A)The word 'observe' could be used in the sense of watching a sporting event, when the eyes are glued to what is happening.


B) Husbands may act deaf at times, but they don't go blind! – They watch

1) The word Chaste refers to Purity / speaks of a conduct free from

          carnality !  Free from compromise!


C) Paul uses the same word in 2 Cor. 11: 2 speaking to the Church

For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.   


D) Christian Un adulterated – not worldly



E.)  The godly woman is one who's life is marked by a purity in her    conduct and in her motives!

1.) Her behavior resembles that of Christ - so that where ever she goes - people see Jesus in her!  Shine!


Speaking of such a women, Proverbs 31:12 says 'She does him good and not evil all the days of her life'; while Prov.12:4 says, 'An excellent wife is the crown of her husband; but she who shames him is a rottenness in his bones.'

 Humility, love, moral purity, kindness, and respect are the most powerful means a woman has for winning her husband to the Lord



How is this type of heart developed ?

v.3,4  3  Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel;

4  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.


'Adornment' comes from the Greek word 'cosmos.' It means 'to put in order, to arrange.'

A.) The emphasis here is on priority! Is your focus going to be on inward

      beauty or outward beauty


B) Now Understand Peter is in no way advocating neglecting yourself physically - not wearing make up or jewelry

   1) MAGGEE     barn needs painting


C) The focus is on balance!

1)   This can be a hard balance in our culture where there is so much           emphasis put on physical appearance!


D)As a result Many women get wrapped up in following the input of the

      world - to be overly concerned about appearance - externals

1)  Down at the Gym - working out - body becomes their main focus

     Tummy tucks / face lifts / so on & so forth


E)That Beauty is corruptible – doesn’t last – only temporary

1) SINGLE – the man who would marry a girl for her outward appearance is like a man who would buy a house for its paint – ( old re- paint )




I am reminded of Proverbs 11:22: 'Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.'

A)She is precious in the sight of the world but not precious in the sight of God. Her adornment is temporal and decaying.


B) Peter EXHORTS THE WOMEN – Make the inward your focus

   1) Your real beauty is going to be seen in the internal hidden person - who

       you are on inside


"Glamour is artificial and external true beauty is real & internal.  Glamour is something you can put on and take off    But true beauty is always present -


Glamour is something that is corruptible it decays & fades


True beauty is from the heart & grows more wonderful as the years pass!  Imperishable - incorruptible - can't taint it -


C)To the woman who wants to be godly woman, wife - Peter says - give

       greater attention to the inner person

1.) concentrate on beautifying the inner person - the hidden            

     person of the heart!


D)As you do - your husband is going to be so attracted to the Lord shining in


1)   That is the real issue when it comes to these subjects of marriage / roles / submission – and the like – If the heart is right – everything fall into place


E) Ladies if your heart is submitted to Jesus – He will show you where you need to grow – in that area



Peter tells us what the Priority of the inner person will look like

A.)Resulting  in a gentle and quiet spirit!      Which Peter says is         precious in

       the sight of God!


B.) Now before you get the image in your mind of a wallflower or doormat - let's explain what words mean!


C.) Word gentle is really meek - meekness is not weakness -      meekness

    means power under control!

1.) It speaks of strength of character and strong self control / of elegance and dignity


D.) Prov 31:25 - Virtuous wife  "strength and dignity are her      clothing -

      she smiles at the future!"

          1.)     She is inwardly clothed w/ strength of character and confidence   


Meekness is inner strength that comes from being confident of who you are in Christ  / realizing that inner beauty is what counts the most !

A.) Inner strength that results in the  self-control of a person who is being led

       by the spirit not the outburst of the flesh!


B.) It results in a humility and gentleness w/ others contrasted by arrogance

       and putting down of others!

          1.)     Sad to day - the latter is the characteristics of many women talking                        about others and putting them down/ make themselves look better



Quiet refers to - not given to outburst of wrath - not easily provoked

A.)    Again suggesting  the idea of self - control


B.)    The godly wife is a woman of strong character & self control

          1.)Which is the Result of cultivating the inner garden!


C.) Ladies understand that it only takes a short time to doll up the outside the

      shell! /            but cultivating the inner person is a lifetime process!





V.4 It is Precious in the sight of the Lord

A)The Greek word for “precious”  pertains to that which is of extraordinary value.


B)It is the term used of “the alabaster vial of very costly perfume that MARY anointed Jesus’ feet W/ IN (Mark 14:3).

  1)  God is not impressed w/ gold, expensive gems, & fashionable clothing, but with the woman who is genuinely humble, submissive, gentle, and quiet


C) That type of life is like a Beautiful flower before his eyes and a wonderful perfume like aroma to His heart



Peter draws their attention to the examples of Holy Women of old

Specifically Sarah v.5,6

A)Key phrase here - "Who trusted in God" - this reveals to us that they were  

       responsive to God's will / heart and Word


B) She was submitted to the Lord which made it easier for her to be submitted to her husband !!!!


C) Because Sarah had no fear of obeying God, she had no fear of what her husband, or any other person or circumstance, might do to her.

1)   God will take care of the consequences when His children are obedient

     to Him