Ephesians 5:22-24
Building A Solid Marriage
Part 6 - A Word to the Wives
Intro: Continue series – Marriage – Week six – Finally
ready to consider the Role of the wife.
A)
God ordained marriage – Adam’s Aloneness – Not good [ Interesting in light of Adam’s relationship with God ] Adam asleep -
made Eve /
B) Adam wakes up – Bone of my Bone & Flesh of my flesh- WOW - It was
there that God ordained and sanctioned Marriage
1) This incredible
Union between a man and a Woman
C) It probably
wasn’t long after the fall / when the earth started to become Populated that
the debate began – continued to this day
1) What Debate am I referring
to ? WHY DID God create Eve ? Differing opinions – Here is what One women’s
group said
7 REASONS WHY GOD CREATED EVE !!!!
# 7. God
worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because He knew men would
never ask for directions.
# 6. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV
remote because men don't want to see what is on TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE
is on TV.
# 5. God
knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appt for himself.
# 4. God knew that if the world was to be populated there would
have to someone to bear children because men would never be able to handle it.
# 3. As Keeper of the Garden Adam would never remember where he
put his tools.
# 2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be
alone", he only ends up getting himself in trouble. And the NUMBER ONE reason...
#1. When God finished the creation of Adam he stepped back, scratched
his head and said, "I can do better than
that."
Read v.18-24
Today we are going to consider that all too popular subject
of Submission
A) Subject that can get a Preacher in trouble
B) Lewis T. Talbot - preaching in L.A. in
late 40's - church of the Open Door- "the mega church of the day"
1) Talbot was a short & little man - but a fiery
preacher – he was preaching on this passage - wives submit to husbands
C) When done - he was approached large woman/
flower dress, hat & large
purse Dr. Talbot that message was disgusting
1.) / You have a lot of nerve
telling us wives submit to.. if you
were
my husband - put poison in your tea tomorrow
D) Lewis T.
Talbot looked at the woman / serious look on his face &
answered / If I were your husband I would drink it
E) It is true that this particular passage -
principle causes a lot of
problems in our culture!
1) The confusion ranges from IGNORING on side
of women and an ABUSING on
the side of the men!
Hopefully today we can clear up some of the confusion on
this subject and take away some of the negative connotations involved with
Submission
A) Consider 3
things – 1st What does the
word submission mean?
2nd Why does the Lord call a wife
to submit / 3rd When is she to submit ?
B) 1st
WHAT DOES THE WORD SUBMISSION MEAN?
1) The Word "submit" means to place yourself under
someone else!
It is
used in several places in the word !
B) It is used of Jesus in LK. 2:51 Subject to Mary & Joseph as
a Kid
Really He was above them but He
submitted to them.
1) In Titus 1 / Rom. 13 it is
used of being submitted to Governing authorities
C) We
know that one day we are going to rule the world w/ Christ - yet presently we
are to live in submission to the authorities placed over us
D) In 1 Pet. 2 it is used of employees being submitted to their employers
1) In 1 Peter 3:22 / Lk 10 :17 It is used of Demonic
spirits being submitted to Jesus
E) And of course there is this passage here in
Ephesians – mentioned else where of the wife submitting to her Husband.
Now an important observation emerges from the uses of the
idea of submission from these passages
A) It is
obvious that some submission is forced – while others are voluntary – Demons to
Jesus is Forced – Made to submit
B) Jesus to
his Parents – Was Voluntary – The Jews in Jesus day were made to submit – Under
an Oppressive Govt
1) But because Jesus loves the
Church He gives us the Choice to Submit
C) A wife’s
submission to her Husband is to reflect the Churches submission to Jesus -
Chosen & Voluntary
1) Paul in essence is saying that wives are to submit to (literally "arrange
their lives under their husbands in the same way all of us should arrange our
lives under the Lord.
A beautiful picture of this is found in 1 Chron. 29:24 –
when David appoints his Young son Solomon as King in his place
A) ON that day
– we read that all of the officers and the mighty men pledged their submission
[ gave their allegiance ] to King Solomon
B) Even though he was young and
un proven – they voluntarily devoted their strength to David’s Son because of
their Love for David
1) And their willingness to
trust Solomon as the Lord’s Anointed and Chosen
C) That is exactly what God is asking a wife
to do – To voluntarily devote their strength and gifts to their Husband – as
God’s Chosen
1) To come along side of their Husbands because of
their Love for the Lord and their trust in His perfect plan
D) The Submission spoken of here speaks of the
desire of a wife to come along side of her husband in a Supportive role –
1) Being there to help him fulfill his God given
responsibilities to lead the family in the ways of the Lord
Now some of the guys are thinking – I like that analogy Pastor Rob – King Solomon – King George
– Yea –
A) The analogy is meant to magnify the heart of
David’s officers and mighty men – to
voluntarily align themselves to an unproven /
unqualified choice
B) Listen men : You
are not called to be the King in your home – by any stretch – Role of Jesus you
are called to be the Servant – Like Jesus
1) Show your love – by Sacrifice – Men hold the Key
– we love Jesus and Submit to Jesus because of His perfect & complete Love
for us
C) And when a husband is consistently seeking to
Love his wife & family in that way –
1) The wife will be more naturally prone to submit
and support her husband
Now WHY THEN DOES THE LORD SAY TO THE WIFE SUBMIT…
A) Consider a
couple of reasons: The first being –To
form a Picture:
B) Because
from the very beginning – God wanted the marriage relationship to be a Picture
of Christ and his relationship to the Church 1) So the husband
was placed in the position to be the head of the family not because he was
smarter / more spiritual / or better made
C) But simply
because that was God’s design { Fulfill a Picture
Now That picture was distorted by Adam & Eve when Satan entered the garden & twisted the roles/ reversed roles of Husband & Wife
A)See When Eve- ate the forbidden fruit she was
acting independently from
Adam
& then she tried to lead Adam
by getting him to eat.
B) Adam blew it by leaving his wife uncovered and then followed her in sin
1) So there was a perversion of God’s plan & And the Perversion of that plan has been a problem ever since.
C) Part of the curse: God said of Eve in her flesh – her desire would be to rule over her Husband – Not submit to him but run his life
1) But originally – God was forming a Picture that latter on would speak to us of His Sons love for the Church – Willingness to serve & Sacrifice for her
A 2nd Reason had to do with God’s order
A)When
God made Adam and Eve - He made them in complete unity. Looked at them as one! Adam
B) And Together they were given dominion
over the creation to fill the earth and subdue it.
B) God didn’t say to Adam now
you have this Job to take care of this place where I have placed you. and this woman is
going to be your slave -
1) Gen. 1:28 say 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them,
"Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it
C) There was an EQUALITY between
the man & the woman - but listen it was an was ordered equality WHAT MEAN?
D) See in the very beginning
man was given headship over his wife - not as an order of
authority - / but as an OPERATION of authority /
1) Now women don’t like to here that – But that for
some reason was God’s design – Women need to accept it – Understand the
Ramifications
See really it is a matter of responsibility !
A) The Lord ultimately places
the responsibility to lead the family on the
Shoulders of the husband / Guys
we are Accountable for what’ve given
smarter or more spiritual / BUT because
that is the Lord’s design.
1) And a Wife is to place
herself under the headship &
leadership of the husband allowing Him
to lead! / Her role is to be Submitted & Supportive
C) In doing
so the wife is participating in the growth of her Husband – she is allowing the
Lord to do a work in His life / as well as Hers
D) So It is a matter
of operation! An ordered equality - that God has set in
place !
1)And if that order gets
messed up everything can get thrown out of wack ! There can’t be 2 heads ! Two heads make a MONSTER
Now why do I keep using that word – Support – along with
Submission ?
A) Answer in the Biblical description of Submission
it is applied – Women need to realize this
B) A lot of Christian women are submissive – but
they are not supportive – little girl – parents sit down – finally does – Sitting on the outside / standing on the inside
C)
That is the attitude sometimes of the Christian wife – Submit on the outside-
but on the inside she is not supportive
1) Problem is most of the time we can sense that ladies
– And it doesn’t help either every time your husband makes a wrong decision –
thrown in his face
Now you may not like that & we may not understand why
God set it up that way – but the
reality is / That doesn’t matter – It is what God says
A) He Desires
that just like in everything else –we trust that He knows what He is doing {
This operation of his authority –
B) We might not ever understand the full ramifications of
this set up until we get to heaven – But He doesn’t ask you to understand it –
walk in it
C) Easy for
you to say Pastor Rob you are a man –
1) Understand
this: The Bible has always elevated women – In Bible days this was the
sentiment of a wife for in that culture
D) We have Prostitutes for Pleasure / Concubines for
cohabitation / and wives for bearing Children – { That was the
popular sentiment grks & Romans
1) Paul comes on the seen says –
No – One wife and she is to be your treasure You are to serve her – love her –
give yourself for her
E) Women you are to Respect / submit to and be
supportive of your Husband
But a lot of Christian women just don’t like that whole
idea: Site Many reason why wrong/ When a woman
feels that way – here is the implication:
A) What you are saying in
essence is Lord I don't trust you- I really don’t think that
you got this one right
B) It really
boils down to God's
will vs. your will - which will you choose!
C) If not submitting it is just
an indication that your heart is not where it is
supposed to be w/ Jesus!
D) In the same way it is foolish for a man to think
that his relationship to the Lord is
fine when his relationship to with his wife is not
1) So too it is foolish for a wife to think that she
is ok with the Lord when she is not in submission to her husband.
E) The two go together – Any problem that she has
with this whole issue is really a mark of rebellion against the Lord
1) That may seem harsh – but it is true – no getting
around it
So we consider
What Submission means / And Why God says ……..
Finally Consider when is a Wife called to Submit to her Husband?
24 Therefore,
just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own
husbands in everything.
A) SO according to what Paul is saying here in v.24
– A wife cannot pick and Choose when she is going to submit
B) However in Col 3:18 Paul gives us further insight
{ Acception –
Col. 3:18 Wives, submit to
your own husbands, as is fitting in the
Lord.
C) as is fitting in the
Lord. - AGGREEMENT W/ THE LORD !!
You are FIRST SUBMITTED TO HIM !!!
D) SO Anything
that goes against Scripture ……[heard about Weird things] or Anytime your
personal safety is in danger
1) God doesn't call you to be a
punching bag- Get out of there as fast as you can !!!!
E) So if your husband is asking you to do things
that go against God’s revealed will – Don’t need to submit to that AT ALL!!!
But What do I do when my husband is making a decision that I
don’t agree with ?
A.) Wives realize - you have a
place to give input - to question, but then you need to support your Husbands decision
B) So If your husband comes
home and says - selling house - Harley’s travel
country/- ask prayed? / get some Counsel?
1.) If
that is what you think Lord is saying – ok realizing that if he makes the wrong
decision - he has to answer to Lord'
C) Then You
need to pray & to trust - the Lord
that he will take care of you - protect you! / bring your husband to his senses
! But submit to husband !
1) Understanding – Before
you are his Wife / God’s Daughter
Now Guys it would do you well to realize that God has placed
your wife in your life for a reason – She has wisdom / insight – from the Lord
A) You are a
wise Husband if you understand that she is your partner and you need to
consider her opinion & insight
B) Proverbs 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from
parents,
but a wise wife is a gift from the
LORD. NCV
C)
Denise & I are very diff. In the
sense that I tend to move slower & take my time in making Decisions / she
is much more spontaneous
1) But she has learned to (love /like ) that I am this
way/ because she knows I appreciate
her input & that I am going to really seek the Lord
D) So she has learned to
wait & seek the Lord w/ me that we might hear!
But I realize that God brought us together to build up /
enhance strengthen
A) My wife is there to help me see things in perspective_.
B) She might have a diff. perspective - but
it might be exactly what I need to
see &
hear.
C) Sometimes
your wife can get you to see things no one else can !
She can say things to me that no one else can !
Young preacher
shaving - breakfast / concentrating on sermon: "concentrate on shaving cut your sermon"
D) Only wife could say something like that! Really
honest -placed us there for that purpose (Listen to her!)
What if my Husband is not walking with the Lord ? Even
harder but listen to what Peter says : 1 Peter 3:1
1 Peter 3:1-2 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that
even if some do not obey the word, [Unbeliever or a believer who is not walking] they, without a word, may be won by the
conduct of their wives,2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by
fear
A) You submit
in those things that are fitting in the Lord – let your conduct be the thing
that wins him to Christ –
B) My Husband
doesn’t want me to come to Church? What do?
Heb 10:25 Do not forsake
the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting
one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.
In Closing I want to give you ladies 6 reasons why you
should embrace God’s plan for you to submit to your Husbands
REASON
#1 – It is pleasing to God : You are fulfilling
God’s desire for your life – that should be our #1 goal .
Prov 18: 22
He who
finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.
NLT Proverbs 18:22
22The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives
favor from the LORD.
REASON #2 Submission communicates
your love to your Husband
A) It is a great feeling when a man Knows that He
has his wife’s support
REASON #3 You are allowing yourself
to be a willing helper for your husband which allows him to better fulfill his
calling from the Lord.
Prove 12:4 An excellent wife is
the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
REASON #4 You are placing your husband
in a position where he can be further molded and shaped by the Lord
A) Some women
stunt the spiritual growth of their husbands by refusing to allow him to lead
or by following his leadership { TV …….
REASON # 5 By doing so a wife actually
is showing that she respects her Husband. V 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so
love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her
husband.
A) Submission
is actually and attitude of respect first for the Lord and then for one’s
husband
B) A wife who
respects her Husband affirms his strengths – she actually becomes an oasis
where he can flourish
C) Respect also means that she helps him manage his
weaknesses – she would rather support than expose them
D) A woman who
truly respects her Husband will in essence respect herself – She will strive to
develop her gifts so that she can become the helper that God intended her to be
& that her husband needs her to be !
REASON
#6 By submitting to her husband she becomes a
picture to her Children and those around her of the Church submitted to Jesus