1 Peter 3:1-6

Building A Solid Marriage Part  7 - Portrait of a Godly Wife


Intro: We live in a Society where view of women and their roles is very distorted –

A)Feminist on one side –The best man for the job is a woman /  the Hedonist on the other side – Woman’s place is for man’s gratification


B)She exist to be a Trophy on His Arm !!!/ pleasure

1)   Then there is the Traditionalist – Woman belongs in the Home – bearing Children & taking care of them/ Bear foot & Pregnant


C)What does God’s word say ? We know what Mrs. America is supposed to look like / But what does Ms. Woman of God Look Like !!!


D) The world distorts the role of women on all sides

1.) That is why it is so important we look at God's word as to      what a woman is to be - not to be!


The Problem w/ many women get sucked into this trap of feeling like they need to find fulfillment in some role!  Wife / Mom/ Career

A) They might start w/ the career – Doesn’t fill it


B) They have been told one day wife & mother - find fulfillment! /So girl

       meets guy - married - doesn't find fulfillment looking for!


C)      Next?  Answer Kids / still not there!      Something lacking!


D) Problem is you will be disappointed - not find fulfillment in any role!

1) You as a women need to find fulfillment & contentment not in a role

         but in the one who made you!


E) That is where fulfillment and contentment comes from living in a loving

     relationship w/ living God!



Many women make the mistake of looking to their husbands to meet all needs'…………………………………………………………………………                                                                                                              

A) Problem is  hubby can't meet those needs - hubby is going to fall short!

      1.) Wife says - "I'm so frustrated w/my hubby - he just isn't

            the man I hoped he would be "  TRUE

B) Understand - no man will be! No man will satisfy the need you feel deep inside/ Accept Jesus!'

1)  Receive fulfillment from Jesus. & you will  Begin to bless husband instead    of burden him !


C) The key to finding fulfillment / the Key to being the kind of wife God

     calls you to be is in allowing Jesus to be at Home in your heart!

1)  Allowing Jesus to be the center of your life !


That is exactly what Peter talks about in 1 Pet. 3    Read v.1-6



Early Church one of the problems that arose was that women were getting saved when their husbands were not. / Same today

A) Peter addressing those women in this section in a desire to

     encourage them in their home life


B) But What he writes can apply to any woman in any situation /      married or not!   Married to  a  Believer or an unbeliever


C) Peter lays out some principles in this section illustrating how a

     woman who is in love w/ Jesus can make a real impact

1)  on her Husband unsaved or saved  /  but also on her sphere of

   influence w/ kids , friends , neighbors / on the Job!


AS we look at this passage I wants us to note 4 characteristics of a godly woman !

A) 1st Characteristic is that a godly woman is seen in her

     her behavior .  CHASTE CONDUCT!    V. 1,2

B) The word Chaste refers to Purity / speaks of a conduct free from

     carnality !  Free from compromise!


C) Paul uses the same word in 2 Cor. 11: 2 speaking to the Church

     he says For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.   


Now in Titus 2:3 Paul uses the term in speaking of the Christian woman – Life marked by a Reverent Behavior { two go together

A) Reverent in behavior, speaks of a life that is marked by a conscious  awareness of God. a life marked by a sense of God’s presence


B) It speaks of a woman who’s behavior reveals that she is very aware of the Fact that GOD IS W/ HER


C) To put it simply – Live a life where you Practice the Presence of God

1) Having a constant awareness of the NEARNESS OF GOD


Joseph was one who Practiced the Presence of God – Kept from Sin with Potiphar's wife { Can’t do this sin against God } Easy to rationalize …

A) Some people can be chameleons – they just adapt to the group that they are around – Worldly – they act dress worldly / Christians – it is different 


B) But a woman who is reverent in her behavior is one who is going to be constantly aware of God’s Presence with her

1) She is not going to be shaped by her environment, but rather She is going to shape her environment


C) Her life is going to be marked by a Reverence for the Lord – a Healthy Fear of the Lord – a Desire to honor God w/ her life

1) Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the Beginning of Wisdom


D) A woman who is walking in the fear of the Lord is going to be wise in her behavior – because she is in tune with the Lord –

1) She is seeking to please the Lord !!!!!

E) Prov 29:25  The fear of man brings a snare…………………….

1) Tripped up by being worried about what others think -


The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else. 

 Oswald Chambers

A)    David was Practicing the Presence of God when He went out to meet Goliath – Sword & Spear – name of the God of Israel


B) He was aware of God’s Presence with him – resulting in a boldness to take on the impossible



So The godly woman is one who's life is marked by a purity in her      conduct, in her motives, & her Appearance { Chaste = Modesty

A) There is  So much pressure to conform to the styles of the world – but are those styles modest – are they chaste – marked by a purity


B) I have seen many women who were once in love w/ Jesus who

     once had vibrant walks w/ the Lord get sucked into a worldly lifestyle

1) It all started when they began to drop their guard & lower their standard regarding being CHASTE


C) I don’t think anyone can define for the rest of us – what is Modest or not

1) Question – would you feel comfortable wearing that if Jesus was present in the room


D) So the Godly Woman is Chaste in her Conduct


2nd Principle Peter describes of the godly woman involves her Priorities  v.3,4  

3  Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel;

4  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

A.) The emphasis here is on priority! Is your focus going to be on inward beauty or outward beauty


B) Now Understand Peter is in no way advocating neglecting yourself physically - not wearing make up or jewelry

1) Christian women can be attractive without being worldly!


C) but a Christian woman should not think of her outer attire as “the source” of her genuine beauty!

1) Other words, be cautious of “artificial glamour”.


"Glamour is artificial and external true beauty is real & internal.  Glamour is something you can put on and take off    But true beauty is always present


Glamour is something that is corruptible it decays & fades


True beauty is from the heart & grows more wonderful as the years pass!  Imperishable - incorruptible - can't taint it -


C) Your real beauty is going to be seen in the internal hidden person - who

       you are on inside


 So To the woman who wants to be godly woman, wife - Peter says - give

       greater attention to the inner person

A) Concentrate on beautifying the inner person/ hidden person of the heart!


B) The emphasis here is on priority! Is your focus going to be on inward

      beauty or outward beauty

1) This can be a hard balance in our culture where there is so much      emphasis put on physical appearance!


C.) Most women know - that hubby might be around beautiful women all day at office - insecure about coming home to the totaled woman

1) As a result Many women get wrapped up in following the input of the

      world - to be overly concerned about appearance - externals

Ladies, how you “catch em”; is what you’ll need to “keep em”!

Catch them w/your “body/hair/clothes”; you better keep it under high maintenance!


A) Catch them w/your heart; you’ll keep them w/your heart!


I have seen college age girls who were average in their appearance  physically - Yet attract a lot of attention

A) Because people were attracted to Jesus in them. Didn’t know it - Something shined - they wanted!


B)  Ladies the Best compliment someone can give you is - they see Jesus in you - or Christ-like spirit


C)  Guys encourage your wife in this !!!!!  And look in the mirror !!!

     1) Denise clean freak when 1st married ! / What I was attracted to



3rd thing we see here characteristics of the godly woman is Self Control /  that focus on her  inner person affects her attitude/

A.) Resulting  in a gentle and quiet spirit!   Which Peter says is precious in  the sight of God!


B.) Now before you get the image in your mind of a wallflower or doormat -

       let's explain what these words mean!


C.) Word gentle is really meek - meekness is not weakness -      meekness

    means power under control!

1.) It speaks of strength of character and strong self control / of elegance and dignity


D.) Prov 31:25 - Virtuous wife  "strength and dignity are her      clothing -

      she smiles at the future!"

     1.)     She is inwardly clothed w/ strength of character and confidence


Meekness is inner strength that comes from being confident of who you are in Christ  / realizing that inner beauty is what counts the most !

A.) Inner strength that results in the  self-control of a person who is being led

       by the spirit by her emotions


B) Quiet refers to - not given to outburst of wrath - not easily provoked

1) Again suggesting  the idea of self - control


C) Again in Titus 2 Paul uses the word Discreet - Discreet means “self-controlled, circumspect or careful.” 


D) It is really the opposite of being governed by impulse or emotions   Proverbs 11:22 says this:  “As a ring of gold in a pig’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”  That’s a very picturesque proverb isn’t it? 


E) A ring of gold in a pig’s snout, is not attractive AT ALL!!!

Well, a lovely woman who lacks discretion is like that, the Scripture says 


That is Not to say that emotions IMPULSES don’t  play a factor in decisions and things we do, they always play a factor to some extent. 

A) God made us w/ EMOTIONS – we are emotional people - But our emotions are not to be the ruling forces in our lives. 


B) Emotions are really a bad way to determine actions or to make decisions, because our emotions can fluctuate. Up & Down all over the Place !!!

1)  And we can be deceived by our emotions. 


C) And we can feel strongly about something.  And if we decide to act on it without really thinking it through & praying it thru –

1) We can end up in a situation where – we look back – why did I do that !






Circumstances can also play on our emotions

A) Look for open doors – Jonah – had open door do opposite of what God wanted


B) In my life – I can’t – depend on open doors I have open doors all over the place – for ministry {Big Church package } Speaking

1) I have to hear from the Lord !!!! Sharp SHOOTERS



And so he says that the wise woman is a discreet woman.  Not moved or governed by Impulses – learns to pray & listen – confirmation

A) She is someone who is going to be making decisions that are led by the Spirit and not her emotions & impulses

1) whether you are talking about ministry / Shopping / Kids discipline


B) Which means that she is going to be a woman who has an active prayer life – she has learned how to Pray as well as how to listen

B.)    The godly wife is a woman of strong character & self control

     1.)Which is the Result of cultivating the inner garden!


C.) Ladies understand that it only takes a short time to doll up the outside the

      shell! /       but cultivating the inner person is a lifetime process!



Lastly - she is responsive - v.5,6 - Here Peter draws upon the example of holy women of the past / who were in submission to their husbands!

A) focuses  Sarah - ( Talked about last week )


B) Key phrase here - "Who trusted in God" - this reveals to us that they were  

       responsive to God's will / heart and Word


C) Sarah obeyed - lit. means paid close attention to - Abraham called

      him Lord because she trusted in the Lord!  

1) She was submitted to the Lord which made it easier for her to be submitted to her husband !!!!

The mark of a godly wife or woman is that she is a doer of the Word, not just a hearer!

A.)    On the average women are usually more interested in spiritual      matters than men


B.)90% of books purchased on subject of marriage are purchased by women


C.)    But it is sad to say that some women are avoiding the issue by      learning what is right rather than doing what is right


D.) A lot  Christian women know much more than they put into practice!



The Lord's instruction to the woman in pretty simple - submit to your husbands,  trust in Lord

A.)    And  - cultivate the inner person of the heart!  Allowing the Lord to grow you up in Him { Empower you with HIS Spirit ……..


B.) Allowing Him to make you a godly wife - mother - allowing Him to

      work in you make impact around you

1.) If you do this - you are wise and you will be blessed!