2 Sam.18:33-19:10   Victory Turned Into Mourning


Intro: David’s life has turned into a complete Mess It all started one night David was at the wrong Place at the wrong Time

A)Instead at war – at Home – Bathsheba –


B) The result One son Rapes his ½ sister / Another son kills his brother / that son tries to over throw the Kingdom – Until He is finally stopped & Killed

1)We pick up in Ch.18:33 W/ David hearing the news of Absalom’s death


33Then the king was deeply moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept. And as he went, he said thus: “O my son Absalom—my son, my son Absalom—if only I had died in your place! O Absalom my son, my son!”


C) When David hears the news that Absalom was Dead He is overwhelmed by grief / DEEPLY MOVED = deeply distressed greatly grieved – Why?


D) Why was he so broken over the death of this son – who was rebellious / who was a murder / This son who tried to overthrow his Kingdom

 1) This son who had Sexually Violated David’s own wives / Concubines why was David so broken up over the death of this Son ?     2 REASON


1st Because of what Absalom’s death probably meant for Absalom/ Let me suggest to you a Contrast

A)When David’s Child that was conceived from his Adulterous relationship w/ Bathsheba died 7 days after he was born{ David didn’t grieve


B) The baby was born sick – and for 7 days David fasted & prayed that God would spare the Child – but once the Child died

1)   David washed – came out & ate and seemed fine – he wasn’t depressed & David’s servants were blown away – Why aren’t you mourning ?


C) Answer? David said to his servants – he cannot be w/ me – but I will go to him – You see :  David had confidence his baby was in heaven  And one day he would see his son again

D) When A Child who dies under the age of accountability – under the age of really knowing or understanding the gospel – that Child goes to heaven

1)   That Child is in the presence of the Lord – David realized that


But he didn’t feel the same way about Absalom / David didn’t where Absalom went –David was grieved for his Son’s Soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

A) He knew that Absalom was rebellious / unregenerate / I think that David feared that Absalom was lost for eternity & it broke his heart


B) Parents worst fear is that their kids will spend eternity in Hell

  1) That is a sobering thought – one that should cause every one of us who are parents here to do what we can to make sure our kids are saved


C) They all have to choose to follow Christ – but we can be setting stage for them to be saved – re-emphasizing their need for Salvation

1)     Talking w/ them & modeling for them what it really means to have a relationship w/ Christ / what it means to walk w/ Christ !!!


So the first reason that David mourned over the death of Absalom–he was grieving for his soul – 2nd was because of Guilt

A) David probably felt that if he hadn’t sinned w/ Bathsheba setting a horrible example for his sons – none of this would have happened


B) David Probably felt – If only I had been a better father – better spiritual leader for my Family – None of this would have happened


C) Now there is a place for this type of Mourning & Grieving  – but sorrow can have a way of crippling us – doing damage to those who are around us


D)And there comes a time that no matter how hard the difficulty we need to rise up & allow God to work

  1) All God to use the tragedy & to make the most out of the tragedy


E) That is what Joab encourages David to do here in ch.19 / Rd v.1-10


As we Look this episode in the life of DAVID there are 3 things that I want us to Consider about Rising above our Tragedies & Difficulties A)1st Why it is important that we rise above / 2nd How it is Possible to rise above / 3rd What we are reminded of  thru the Process


B) So first of all we want to notice why it is so important that we rise above -  BECAUSE Our outlook affects other


C) Joab goes to David & says King you have got to snap out of this /you have got to pull it together – You are bringing the kingdom down You are on the verge of losing everything


Noticed how David’s mourning affected others – note 4 things – begin D

A)1st they were Despairing – v.2 Their Victory was turned into mourning


B) Instead of rejoicing that the Kingdom could now be restored they were mourning, feeling like they did something wrong – because Absalom died

1)   These people had stood for David against the Majority who had followed Absalom in his Revolt


C) These People had risked their lives for David – they had fought hard for David – they had remained Loyal to David

1)      But David’s response had made them feel like they had done the Wrong thing –


D) David was depressed & Depression spreads like wild fire – affects those who are around you { Affected their Celebration turned into mourning !!!

1)     And that can happen when you are overwhelmed by grief – It can really put a Damper on someone else’s Celebration



2nd They were Defeated – v.3 The people felt ashamed – v.8 everyone fled to their own tent –

A)They felt we have great cause to Celebrate because what they were fighting for had been accomplished/ but David’s reaction made them feel otherwise

B) When our first Child my Son Aaron was born –: We had friends who were Pregnant at the same time & Their Baby Died in Labor


C) Now We were so happy & rejoicing for our Son – but at the same time – I felt a bit ashamed –

1)    like how can we rejoice for out blessing when they are suffering from their loss{ First time sitting in back – they walked in – Hide


D) They never let us feel that way – The have Embraced our son { They rejoiced w/ us /  And we grieved w/ them – Closer bond


3rd They were disgracedv.5 Love your enemies more than your friends

A)That is how the people were feeling & because Joab mentions the Princes we can assume that is how some of David’s kids were feeling


B) Dad is all worked up about that rebel – I guess we really don’t Matter !!

 1) How many times has this happened in a family- where one Child has a Problem or is problem – the other kids start feeling like they don’t matter


C) In fact when parents spend all their energy on their rebellious Child I have seen non-rebellious kids get become rebellious

1)Thinking that must be what I need to do to get some attention around here


So they were Despairing / they were Defeated / Disgraced /  4th v.9 They were disputing w/ each other –

A)Because their leader wasn’t leading – they were becoming divided !!!


B) And when those who are called to lead in the family or in a ministry become consumed by their own tragedies – others will become divided


So this passage presents a good illustration of how our outlook will affect others – Joab comes to David & says – Stop it / get it together

A)See, there is a place for mourning – but there comes a time when a mature believer has to say/ I need to get it together  not let my emotions affect others


B) There comes a time when a mature believer says – Ok it is time to get on w/ life –Remember  Samuel over Saul – God says –

 1) How long I have Chosen a new King / the people have been being neglected long enough – it is time to get w/ the program


C) Now Did David have a right to Mourn – absolutely But it should have been done Privately & not Publicly  

     1) Contrast David w/ Paul the Apostle



We have noted in our Wed. night Phil. study the example of Paul – who was in a Prison cell in Rome But had Joy in the midst of his Circumstance

A)Difference between Joy & Happiness – Happiness is based on outward circumstances – Won the lottery / the Game / got the raise = Happiness


B) Joy is not based on outward circumstances but Joy is based on an inward peace or knowing that Jesus is in Control – on the throne


C) I can guarantee you that Paul was not happy to be in Prison – he wasn’t thinking you know I needed a vacation – great 3 meals a day / TV

 1) A chance to get some writing doneNo Prisons in Rome were Brutal


D) Paul was a normal guy who had real feelings & emotions who wasn’t always happy/    Paul experienced great fear & sorrow from his trials –

 1)  2 Cor 1:8 Burdened beyond measure despairing of even life itself

       Emotions – I don’t even want to live anymore


But Paul had Joy – Inner Peace – quiet confidence in the Lord

But Paul  never stayed Depressed –  because his outlook was Jesus

A)For me to live is Christ -  


B) Paul said in everything give thanks  for this is the will of God

 1) Note the key word in that verse is IN – Note Paul doesn’t say – For everything give thanks – Thank you I am in Prison


C) Thank you for the Cancer that is attacking my Body – No he doesn’t say – For everything give thanks – But in –

1)   Lord I am going to thank you in the mist of this trial – because I know that you love me / Know you are faithful / that you are working


D) So Paul’s Outlook was to Look to Christ – Be thankful in Christ

1)   And His outlook affected others Soldiers were saved /


E) Christians were built up & gained a Confidence to share their faith  & face the suffering that would follow

1)    And even Christians like us – centuries later – Encouraged by his Joy in the mist of his suffering


 So it is Important to understand Your outlook affects others/  had Paul moaned & groaned – complained no soldiers would have been saved –

A)They would have viewed  Paul as just another uptight complaining prisoner – No soldiers would have been saved


B) Instead they saw him in a completely different way{ their lives were deeply touched – and many came to Christ 



Now you might be thinking – ok I understand that my actions affect others

A) And I hear what you are saying Joy is not an attainment but an attitude / but realistically how do  I deal w/ that


B) Am I supposed to just smile & pretend to be happy ?  I don’t want to bum people out I don’t want to cause people to be defeated /disgraced /

  1) But what I am going thru  hurts so bad – How to I get over this ?


C) Note 3 things Concerning how it is Possible to rise above

  1) 1st you do what Jairus did Lk 8 –{Story – Looked at Jesus – Do not be afraid only believe


D) You do what Jairus did – You take your eyes off the situation & put your eyes on Jesus & you believe – Faith Chases away fear




2nd – You Learn what Paul Learned  : 2 Cor.12 – My grace is sufficient Power is made perfect in your weaknessEvery time you are week –opportunity for me to Show my Strength –


A)And so you look to & lean to the Sufficiency of God’s Grace / Daily thing


B) In each moment you believe the truth of God’s word concerning the sufficiency of the grace of God – that is able to carry you thru



3rd – You Say what Jesus said – Jn 12My heart is Troubled – But Jesus  said Father you be glorified

A)It is telling the Lord -The most important thing is not my personal comfort or feelings / but Your Plan & your glory – that means the world to me !!!


B) Denise & I are presently in the mist of the greatest trial of our lives / as someone very close to us / in wife’s family is in a lot of trouble

1)   He is going to prison/ –the  Dynamics of the family are probably going to be changed forever


C) What is interesting is a yr. ago God began to prepare us – Courson retreat Some of you are going to go thru – a heavy ordeal – big trial

1)   Right now we are in a very difficult situation – being called upon to  minister to the family / hold it together – concerning sensitive issues


D) We have had to put aside our own anger & grief – to mourn Privately and to seek God’s grace & strength to minister – Publicly

1)   To Play the role of mediators Ministers for the family



For a month now it has  been an issue everyday / there has been something to deal w/ involving this situation

A)I have wondered a few times – Lord is this going to wipe us out ? Or is this going to be something that you can be glorified thru


B) The fact that God had pre-warned both of us separately that something was coming – gives me confidence that he wants to be glorified in this

1)   So we are looking to Him – like Jairus – We are learning what Paul learned that – His grace is sufficient – Daily thing


C) And we are saying & Praying like JesusFather you be glorified in the midst of  all this – I believe that He will.

1)   Result is a peace & a Joy in the mist of it – A Peace that surpasses all understanding – that guarding our hearts & minds


D) That scripture has become more real to me than ever – Mind is being guarded & it is a good thing !!!



4th What are we reminded of in the Process ?

A)Simply this When you go thru that type of thing it allows you in a much deeper way to enter into the Fellowship of Christ suffering


B) David could now Identify w/ God the Father on what it was like to have a rebellious Child – God has been putting up w/ that for Centuries

  1) We get to FEEL first hand – what God has felt for 1000’s of yrs – the grief that sin has upon families


C) And every life that is wrecked by an illness – gives us the opportunity to identify w/ God who everyday watches millions of people suffer from the consequences of Sin entering into  this world –